Hakamat Matzeivah Dedication ~ Unveiling Ceremony 4-22-07

Hakamat Matzeivah  Dedication ~ Unveiling Ceremony
Marcel Krauthammer, M.D.

April 22, 2007

Welcome.   JOY   
Rabbis, Cantor and family, friends to lead along with me, this loving service.
We will place stones at end of service.
Hand out prayer booklets.
We have gathered at the final resting place of our dear relative and friend Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim, z'l. Though time has passed since Marcel was taken from our midst, we are still acutely conscious of the role that Marcel played in our lives.

In gratitude for the many blessings that Marcel's life brought us, and recognizing that his memory and spirit still resonate within us, together we shall dedicate this monument marking his eternal resting place.

  Welcoming prayer : Rabbi manual or pg. 26 Intro.  RABBI Sheldon Kirsch

Background  JOY
There is no prescribed format for an unveiling (sometimes called “dedication”) ceremony which may, according to Jewish law, be performed by the family. Hakamat Matzeivah, Raising up the Stone. Stone / tzur, also name for G*d.  The typical ceremony consists of traditional reading selections from Psalms-tehilim, prayer, personal reflections, el malay rachameem, and the Kaddish.

Special today is that is it Yom Hazikaron (remembering Israel's fallen) and Earth Day
 plant flowers. Marcel loved our garden with flowers and visiting creatures.
There is a bigger picture. It is the 4th of Iyar, 19 day of Omer counting. Hod sh'b'Tiferet. I want to share meaning about that now (or after unveiling priorities.)

Unveiling and Dedication   JOY & AVIVA
(remove the cloth & golf jacket and hat from the stone and read from the stone’s inscription)
TAKE PHOTO before stones are placed.

My arrangements of words are not commonly found on stones:
Marcel's name as he was prayed for.
Added Marcel's Hebrew transliterated name as recognizable for people who have prayed for him with his Hebrew name and who don't read Hebrew.
Added the mother's name, because she was his mother and she agreed to it. & Because I am a feminist. Possibility of Sephardic Italian heritage which would include mother. Better for family tree info.
 po nickbar and niftar Hebrew words and acronym smaller because they are not personal to him, but generic, just like acronym at bottom.
Dashes represent the years between birth and death.
Substituted Tildas ~ between dates, etc, because Marcel's journey was not a straight dash line ride through life -, but with ups and downs. as a roller coast ride, a teeter tooter taking it's bangs as it hits the ground and then soars again. From bitterness and struggle to joy. The comeback king.
Hebrew death date is purposefully reversed from right to left with transliteration of 17 Tevet.
 Let's look.
Marcel's ~ friends  ~ were included in his life. You were his friends.

 "Served Others"... Line is Marcel's own. I changed He to Marcel.
Added words for his soul:  faith ~ trust ~ indomitable spirit

Acronym tehe nishmatah tzerurah bitzror hachayim spelled out at bottom I translated because no one ever knows what it means.
I left out the word UP, in bound up, 'cause it is not part of a Hebrew word.
Makes it fit better on line also. And UP to me, sounds like a restraining order, negative.
Marcel's words.  
 Spaced everything in groupings that I thought made sense for meaning and balance.

Pinstripe, single, curved, to gently embrace the words in a container.

 ~ ~ ~
mogen dovid

 Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim V'Tova   po nichbar 
May 10, 1046  ~  Jan. 17, 2006  
 niftar 17 Tevet 5766
Beloved Husband~Dad~Son 
Marcel Lived His Life 
In the Service Of Others
Faith ~ Trust ~ Indomitable Spiri 
May His Soul Be Bound in the Bond of Eternal Life
tehe nishmatah tzerurah bitzror hachayim
~ ~ ~

 Psalm 121 pg 12 Esa Einai.  CANTOR MICHAEL RUSS

Read  JOY
Marcel Krauthammer z'l died on January 17, 2006 (17 Tevet 5766) at the age of 59 following a valiant struggle to enjoy life. We held a levaya - the honoring and escorting of the soul as it begins its journey to the World to Come.  Marcel was buried here the following day at Mt. Sinai, Simi Valley, Jan. 18, 2006. So many friends, relatives, and colleagues were present at the levaya.  Today we have invited immediate family, and only people closest to Marcel, and friends from my local minyan where I said Kaddish. Marcel was my husband.  I called him "Bear." Marcel was the father of Aviva and she called him "Abby." He was the father-in-law of Aviva's newly-wed husband, Brett. Marcel was the son of Thea and Shulim, z'l. He was the brother of Charles. Today we gather to remember not just the facts, but Marcel's neshamah / soul which lives on and is here with us today, and to dedicate a monument in his memory.

 Psalms READING (said together)
Psalm 23. Alternative Version Pg. 6   ALL Together
Compassionate One, You are my shepherd; I shall not want. You make me to lie down in green pastures; You lead me beside the still waters. You restore my soul; You lead me in the paths of righteousness for Your name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Eternal forever.

Mee Ya’ah’leh - Ps. 24:1-5 - Who May Ascend   Guest
The earth is G*d's, and all its fullness, the world and those who dwell therein. For the Divine One has founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the waters. Who may ascend into the hill of G*d or who may stand in G*d's holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive blessing from the Compassionate One, and righteousness from the G*d of his salvation.
Family, Friends, Teacher, Coach, Fan for all seasons, Game player, Jewish learner, Comedian.
Foods, collecting, writing words, scrabble, golf, bicycling, golf, softball, tennis, skiing, sailing, rafting.
reading books, listening music, jokes, puzzles, computer games. Trivia Chankkah, sukkahs, Tashlich.
Studying with Moshe, chanting Torah. Impressionistic art.
Midnight, kitty.

Marcel was appreciative of all we did for him. He told me daily he loved me and thanked me.
He asked for little and did not want to be a burden, and I assured him that he was not.

Marcel was brave, courageous, defiant, powered by will, hope and faith in Hashem. Family photos were always facing Marcel. Yes, there was a "rectification, a tikkun", in his and our lives. And Marcel also had his "reasons not to give up." Marcel prayed throughout the day with his siddur until he could no longer hold the book and then the prayers were in his heart.

Marcel never despaired, he NEVER GAVE UP, only his body. Marcel's dream was fulfilled three weeks before going on life-support and he rode down the aisle to our daughter Aviva's chuppah to Brett.

Marcel studied Gemora for 14 years with Rabbi Simkin at Young Israel of Northridge.

Born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Marcel completed his undergraduate work at McGill, Canada and received his medical degree from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York in 1971. Post-graduate Internal Medicine training was at Long Island Jewish Medical Center, New York, and Fellowship in Respiratory Medicine at Harbor General/UCLA Medical Center.  Marcel started his medical career at UCLA and the VA as a staff physician in 1977 and retired in 2000.

As a UCLA professor of medicine and  ICU director, Marcel continued to teach from the other side of the bed, all medical staff and visitors during the two dozen hospitalizations and surgeries that he endured. Marcel was awesome, the "Comeback King."

Dr. Irwin Ziment, Marcel's colleague and our dear friend since 1974 and is overseas today with his wife Yda, stated, Marcel was relentless in his pursuit of knowledge and in tracking down solutions to medical problems. Marcel passed this motivation on to everyone he taught.

Krauthammer truly enjoyed his students and specialized in reading X-rays of the chest and lungs. He would present "mystery" X-rays and students in class as well as colleagues at regional conferences, would try and identify the condition or disease. His extensive chest X-ray collection was recently donated to the UCLA Department of Radiology and continues to be used for teaching purposes.

 Marcel's life also reflected a commitment to his patients. During his years in the medical intensive care unit, he also studied medical ethics and Jewish bio-ethics Halachah/ law in order to better guide patients and their families through critical end-of-life decisions. He also served several years as an expert on the VA’s Pharmacy and Therapeutics Committee.

Active in professional organizations, Krauthammer served as president of the Trudeau Society of Greater Los Angeles, which is associated with the American Lung Association and composed of academic and private pulmonologists. He received the David Salkin Award presented to a member who best embodies the principles, goals and spirit of this group.

Krauthammer was a member of the American College of Chest Physicians, American Thoracic Society and the Society of Critical Care Medicine. He also chaired pulmonary care symposiums and research conferences in Southern California.

Diagnosed in 1988 with a rare esthesioneuroblastoma, Marcel continued to teach and work despite numerous treatments and two dozen surgeries. Throughout his struggle, he maintained his interest and enthusiasm for medicine, sports, humor, puzzles and religion. His dedication and courage will be remembered by his family, friends, colleagues and patients.  During Marcel's last months while on life-support, a friend of mine who did not know Marcel went to visit him. The visit impacted my friend so greatly that she applied for Chaplaincy school with an essay on these visits, and was accepted and is being now trained in a Jewish chaplaincy school, The Academy of Jewish Religion.

"One of the most determined people I’ve ever known, Marcel played to win. The only battle he lost was with cancer. He will be sorely missed," said Ziment.
~ ~

I decided that Marcel was a "Vessel of Love" because all that he could do in the final months was to receive all the love given to him from family, friends, colleagues, staff and strangers (my spiritual friends whom he had not known), and we knew it through his eyes. Marcel under earlier conditions, was a stand-up to lying-down comedian and he made me laugh when he was able to circle and point his index finger to his head and at me as if I was loco, when I was the ventriloquist for his stuffed bear, Oatmeal, always a mascot by his side from ICU to ICU to ICU and now in Heaven with his pal, Marcel.


Readings   (said together)?
Eh’nosh keh’cha’tzeer - Psalm. 103:15-17
As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. For the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children.
IF TIME: The following words give comfort to me.

A Daily Dose of Wisdom from the Rebbe  -words and condensation by Tzvi Freeman, Chabad 

LIFE . JOY or guest
This experience, to give life, to watch it grow, to be torn apart by it, to receive pleasure from it and to give life again -- for this the soul descended from its ethereal heights.

And when it shall return to there, enveloped in these memories, it will finally know their depth. And with them travel ever higher and higher.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
Teaching in Marcel's memory by RABBI SHELDON KIRSCH  Pirkei Avot, Mishley-Proverbs
 ~ ~ ~ ~

Ecclesiastes Kohelet - Chapter 3  AVIVA     A GUEST TO READ?
1. Everything has an appointed season, and there is a time for every matter under the heaven.
2. A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot that which is planted.
3. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break and a time to build.
4. A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time of wailing and a time of dancing.
5. A time to cast stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
6. A time to seek and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to cast away.
7. A time to rend and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak.
8. A time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

NAME POEM  read by Guest


El Moleh Rachamim    Memorial Prayer Pg. 16   CANTOR MICHAEL RUSS
O, G*d, full of compassion, Thou who dwellest on high, grant perfect rest beneath the sheltering wings of Shechinah--thy Divine Presence, among the holy and pure who shine as the brightness of the firmament to the soul of my beloved, Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim, who has gone to his eternal home.

Mayest Thou, O G*d of Mercy, shelter Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim forever under the wings of Thy Presence. Remember all worthy and righteous deeds that Marcel performed in the land of the living.  May Marcel's soul be bound in the bond of life eternal, and grant that the memories of his life inspire us always to noble and dedicated living. May Marcel rest in peace. Let us say, Amayn

Kaddish Pg. 18   AVIVA & JOY
Mourners (say together):
Yit’ga’dal v’yit’kadash sh’may ra’ba
B’alma deev’ra chirutay v’yamleech mal’chu’tay
b’cha’yah’chone uv-yo’may’chone uv’cha’yay d’chol bayt Yisrael b’a’ga’la u’veez’mahn ka’reev, v’eemru . Amein.
Y’hay sh’may raba m’vah’rach l’alam ool’al’may al’ma’ya.
Yeet’ba’rach v’yeesh’ta’bach v’yeet’pa’ra v’yeet’ro’mam v’yeet’na’say, v’veet’ha’dar v’yeet’ah’leh v’yeet’ha’lal sh’may d’kood’sha b’reech hu.
L’ay’lah meen kol beer’cha’ta v’sheer’a’ta, toosh’b’cha’ta v’neh’cheh’mata, dah’a’meer’an b’alma. V’imru Amein.
Y’hay sh’lama raba meen sh’maya v’chah’yeem aleinu v’al kol Yisrael, v’imru. Amein

My sweetie's nickname was Bear. "Bearsy", I called him, and still do.
Marcel's z'l favorite JOKE
Two guys went into the forest, bear hunting.
They came to a fork in the road, and there was a sign. "BEAR LEFT."
So they went home.

 El Maley Rachameem
El maley rachameem shochain bam’romeem,
Hamtzey menucha nechona tachat kanfey hash’chinah
B’maalote k’doshim oot’horim k’zohar
Ha’ra’kee’ah maz’hee’reem, et neesh’mat MENACHEM ELIMELECH BEN SHULIM  
Sheh’halach l’olamo ba’avoor sheh’nad’voo tzedaka
B’ad haz’kar’aht neeshmato
B’gan ayden t’hay m’nu’cha’to
La’chayn ba’al ha’rach’ameem
Yas’tee’ rayhu b’say’tehr k’nah’fav l’olameem
V’yeetz’ror beetz’ror ha’cha’yeem et neesh’ma’to
Adonai hu nacha’la’to v’yanu’ach b’shalom
Al meesh’kavo v’no’mar,

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