Condolences letters from friends, colleagues

MARCEL KRAUTHAMMER

Condolence letters from
Drs. Golub, Wasserman, Ziment, Rosen, Strumpf, Steuer, 
& friends Flait, DeLong, Rose, and more...

  

 Before my beloved husband Marcel died Jan. 17, 2006, in response to one of my last "Updates" on "Never giving up" and "Leadership", the following are letters that I received both from the man responsible for our sunny California life, Dr. Wasserman, and another from a man, Leo DeLong who as a new friend at Esalen, mentored Marcel in enjoying this Pacific Coast life on the "greens."

The 'first' is from Marcel's very first "Boss" in California and in Pulmonary, at UCLA/Harbor General Hospital, following Marcel's NY residency at Long Island Jewish Hospital. It is because of Dr. Karlman Wasserman that we don't shovel snow (since 1974) to get to work, and that we have wonderfully loving, supportive friends/colleagues (in addition to family) on the West Coast.

The most recent 2013 letter, is an entry posted at the end.

Blessings,
JOY KRAUTHAMMER
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From Dr. Karlman Wasserman, Chief, Harbor General Hospital

"Dear Joy, I agree that Marcel never shirked from doing the extraordinary things asked of him. One of those was his phenomenal chest x-ray collection (which was just given a new home at UCLA Radiology Dep't.) and the great skill that he developed in building the collection.

Marcel has remained optimistic, courageous and acted charitable, as I witnessed at a Palm Springs (Pulmonary doctor's) meeting 10-12 years ago, despite his having undergone brain surgery and his knowledge that his brain tumor limited him and would limit him further in the future, bringing him to his current state. Yes, he also demonstrated leadership at the (annual) Palm Springs meetings. But after he became ill, he showed us the stuff that he was made of. He did not behave as though he felt sorry for himself but appeared to live every minute. I remember Marcel's incredible smile and courage as we conversed at our last meeting, and that is how I want to remember him.

With love and blessings to you, Aviva and, especially Marcel."
Karl Wasserman
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From Leo DeLong, whom I had the pleasure of meeting with Marcel in Palm Springs. I had discovered a golf workshop at Esalen and Marcel actually listened to me, registered and went to Big Sur where he loved meeting Leo.

"Joy:

Thank you for sending me this Update e-mail. Marcel is a fighter if not on the physical plane, on the spiritual. Though he can no longer speak, he speaks to each one of us through his courage and will to survive all these many years. You are so right about Marcel trying to be the best he could be at whatever he focused his attention on. He mastered the art of golf to the extent his physical capabilities allowed him to. Mentally was another story when it came to the game of golf. He knew all the subtle nuances of the game and the swing. When we talked about the mechanics of the game we were one spirit. We understood each other's thoughts on the subject after the first sentence. We were communicating non verbally from then on. Our spirits were in tune with one another.

He was a master joke teller as well. His timing was impeccable. I would put him on the stage against any of the top comedians. He was a multi talented individual. I'm glad that he came into my life. I am much richer for it.
Your friend,
Leo DeLong
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

from Dr. Mike Golub
(Medical Dir. Sepulveda VA Medical Center.)

To the Krauthammer Family,

How beautiful were the words spoken by rabbis, friends and family in the hills of Mt. Sinai in honor of a wonderful person. Marcel was a teacher to us all. For those of us who study medicine, Marcel was the ultimate teacher. Not just the expertise that he brought to his specialty, pulmonary medicine, not just his skill in reading chest x-rays (how excellent that there is a wonderful home for his collection at UCLA's Radiology Dep't.), but more importantly what he taught us about caring and consideration.

And Marcel taught us the joy of finding your area of skill and honing it. He loved those things he could perfect, be it golf or teaching. I think back fondly upon the times we spent together, the house-staff softball game where I brought my son and Marcel brought Aviva and he pitched in his Sandy Koufax jersey. I am thankful I was able to quickly stop by on Monday morning to say good-bye. We will miss him dearly. All our best wishes from his colleagues at Sepulveda VA.
Mike Golub
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

from Darlene Rose

Dear Joy, Aviva, Brett, Thea and Charles,

Your holy, compassionate, brave, sweet and dedicated husband, father, son and brother is a Kiddush Hashem. He is like Avraham Avinu who was tested and grew into spiritual, intellectual and physical greatness on every level of his soul.
Despite all his suffering, Marcel knew the deepest love, friendship and honor . He is so precious to so many.
Darlene Rose
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dr. Irwin and Yda Ziment who have been loyal boss, colleague & devoted friends since 1974.

 Dearerst Joy,

You and your incredible spirit  have been in our minds every day during
the past tragic years of incredible sorrow that you have borne with such
strength and devotion, sharing the grim burden that has tortured Marcel
in such an unrelenting manner
. His suffering was your misery, but just
as he bore the unrelenting advances of a miserable disease with great
courage
 you were an exemplar of wonderfful resilience and marvellous
humour throughout the unimaginably painful journey that took Marcel to
the inevitable conclusion
. We know that these same qualities will ensure
that you will show your indomitable shining vibrancy and continue to
give your friends and Aviva with her marvellous new family a wonderful
future together. We mourn the present and cry over the past but we look
forward to a bright new future and enduring friendship.

 Love (from Myanmar) from your great friends,
Irwin and Yda Ziment
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stuart  Flait

 Although  constantly imminent, Marcel's death came as a terrible blow to the community.
.  He  really was a wonderful man who never flaunted his obvious genius.  As you  described, he did enjoy giving it to the Interns  and Residents.  He  jokingly (?) told me to stay away from the V.A.  Hospital  in June when they let the  Residents loose right out of Medical School.  They could be very dangerous, he would say
 Sincerely, 
Stuart  Flait
~ ~ ~

Ira Jeffry Strumpf

I knew your brother, I worked with your  brother, I admired your brother, I learned from your brother. We fought disease together and separately in our own ways. I am in a line behind you, your  families  and many others who will miss him.

My  condolences,
Ira Jeffry Strumpf MD
(818)  366-2030
~ ~ ~

---
Marcel was my professor of medicine at UCLA when I was an intern.  When I reflect upon those sleep-starved hazy days of my internship there, I can think of no one else who taught me more or influenced me  more as a doctor than Marcel  Krauthammer.  He was a larger than life character who was adored by all of us.  He had a great sense of humor, humanity, and common sense, in addition to knowing everything there was to know about  every  specialty of medicine.

He was also a compassionate, kind person who was above chastising/humiliating us trainees (as so many academicians do), but rather, held himself out as a friend, as a colleague. In short, he defined the  word, "mensch."  Over the years, I had wanted to call him and tell him how important he was in my  development as a doctor and as an adult.  But I never did.  I'll never get that chance now, but this story should underscore the  importance of being  present,and doing those things we have always wanted to do,  but couldn't because of those distractors that are more urgent but less important than giving love back to those who have loved us.

Michael Steuer, Memphis Tenn.
~ ~ ~

Arthur H  Rosen
I interned with a Marcel  Krauthammer at Long Island Jewish Medical  Center in 1971-2. I remember him as very capable and affable. I hope that  your warm memories continue to give you solace.

Arthur  H. Rosen,  MD
~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~

Krauthammer, Marcel. Beloved son (Thea), husband (Joy), father (Aviva), father-in-law (Brett), brother (Charles, uncle Daniel, brother-in-law (Faye, Jim), (Arielle, Jim), (Robyn), friend and teacher. for over twenty years, professor of medicine at UCLA, brilliant pulmonologist, honored clinician and teacher, humanitarian, devoted baal koreh, community leader. Died January 17 in Los Angeles. Of cancer, which he fought for seventeen years with courage, defiance and indomitable spirit.
- Montreal Gazette. www. legacy.c
---
Dear community,
Thank you for your condolences on the passing over January 17, 2006 of Marcel, z"l, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim, my beloved husband of 31 years and loving father to our daughter, Aviva, and her husband, Brett Freedman.
Following a challenging metastatic brain cancer of 18 years, may Marcel rest in peace.  Marcel was a valiant fighter whose faith in Hashem, along with his willpower, strength, courage, fortitude, perseverance, patience and hope kept Marcel alive to reach our daughter's wedding, his greatest dream.
BlesSings,
joy
LA Times, obits.
---
My Dear Sister,

You asked me about the significance of Tuesday - Yom Shlishi. This was the day when plants came into existence, and there is a tradition that the Garden of Eden came into existence on this day.

The Garden of Eden is the goal of each soul's journey. A righteous soul enters the spiritual Garden of Eden after it leaves the body, and after the resurrection, all the righteous souls will then live in the Garden of Eden on this earth.

"For the Compassionate One will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her ruins; He will make her wilderness like Eden and her wasteland like the Garden of the Compassionate One; joy and gladness will be found there, thanksgiving and the sound of music." (Isaiah 51:3)

May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Yosef
Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen, Hazon
---
Dear Aviva,
I don't know if you read e-mail while you are in avelus, however, I read your mother's touching words and was very moved. I appreciate that your dad accomplished quite a bit in his life and he helped the world in many beautiful ways. I also was grateful with you that he was able to meet Bret and enjoy the simcha of your marriage in his lifetime. May you continue to provide simcha to your mother. I'm sure your father will continue to look down on both of you and smile at every accomplishment that you continue to make. May Hashem give
your entire family the strength to bond together at this time and may your father's soul have a smooth aliyah into Shamayim. May his memory remain a blessing for your entire family.
Sincerely,
Lauri Wolff and Nehemia Polen
(Aviva's supervisor, Lauri)
---
Dear Joy,

It is with sadness that I hear of your beloved husband's passing.  

May the soul of your beloved Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim soar on the wings of Shechinah to his resting place in Shamayim! And may you be privileged to receive many visitations from him, in dream, in thought, and in guidance.

May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
Kol brachot,
Reuven v'Yehudit
---
 Joy,
I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you, especially during this past month. Where most would crumble with the enormous challenges you’ve faced, you showed grace and thought of others, even continuing to teach at Marcel’s funeral. Don’t ever forgot how precious you are.
Now it’s time for Joy and time for Joy to take care of herself, park yourself in your recliner and sit. I’ll help you with all next week. I should be able to sit by then.
Take your drops, noni, order any meds that you need so I can make your med boxes, close your eyes and picture how your garden will look for our birthdays this June.
I made an announcement here that I need to go to services with you one Sat. morning a month. And we need to start Onioning again.
Crying is good for you, besides mourning the loss of your loved one you need to mourn the loss of your life the way it was. You’re a butterfly, now set free to help others.
Love, Sandi
---
Thank you Joy.  We appreciate your kindness especially during your own grieving times.  We love you and miss Marcel.

With Love,
Adina & Jerry
---
Dear Joy.         
  I've just re-read your message to me when Max (my step-father) died.  Being so beautiful, I never erased it.   my condolences from Pasadena.       I know this is a hard time, and I would like another opportunity to sit with you.     I know the seven days are crucial.  And I know that the following days and weeks can be harder, as we adjust.          MAY YOU ALWAYS CARRY THE SWEET MEMORIES OF YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.     MAY YOU BE FED BY THE BEAUTY OF YOUR CARE FOR MARCEL.  MAY HIS SOUL BE FOREVER NURTURED BY YOUR LOVE AND LIGHT. MAY YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOUR OWN BEAUTY.       I thank you for sharing your life with us.          Let me know if there is anything I can do.    Even if it is a visit for a chat, or to clean out a closet...........I am good at helping with this, even if I say so myself........           I am sending you thoughts of courage and strength for the following times.
  Love, Ronit.  626-844-8849
---
Dear Joy,
   I know it has been very difficult for you these past several months but you must know that you are so loved.
   May I sit shiva with you and your family today?
Love and Shalom,
Charles Sherman  
---
Thanks for sending us the beautiful article written about Marcel by Charles.  It tells a real story about an exceptional person.  It could have included the missing line about the one devoted person who was always there.
Best wishes,
Gail Wasserman
---
you were the angel
love hesh
---
Charlie, i have read your loving article in W. Post.

And i wonder, how did marcel get to hospital each of the two dozen times that he was there, most of them 911s to the ER when he was "delirious" or non-responsive and his life was spared, fooling the "angel of death"? as the eulogies’ stated at the funeral. Who was Marcel's caregiver and tireless advocate these last 18 years?
Caringly, Jack Zohar

Gee, I wonder who that could have been, and who insisted time and countless time again, that his care be administered correctly? It just happened, I suppose.  JZ
---
You have chosen a very rocky path lighted by flaming volcanoes underneath. How about going down a woodland trail now, in the spring with abundant, fragrant flowers on all sides, and filtered sunlight from on high, birds a twitter, soft breezes and delicates scents to delight the nose. It's time.
---
Joy, your active role was what made all of the difference and we all know that!
Thank you for sharing this.  I hope that we can see you soon. Let me know when you're ready to come for Shabbat.
Love,
Luisa 
---
Dearest Joy,
    Thank you so much for sharing this.  The entire story of Marcel's (and your) struggle deserves to be told... perhaps someday a talented writer will make a book or movie, to warn and inspire the rest of us.
Love,
Robin Winston
---
beautiful today, beautiful at the funeral...may it give you the strength, courage and comfort, in knowing all you did for your life partner, Joy.
shoshi Wilshfort
---
Dear Joy,

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and hope you are doing okay in this sad time in your life.  I have never attended a funeral like Marcel's and reading this piece by Charles brings back how touched I was by all who spoke.  I didn't know Marcel in Life but after the funeral, I really felt like I knew his essence and was sorry that I didn't know Marcel in Life. I know I would have loved him!

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

Love,
Lee Fischer

Unfortunately, I've been to too many funerals in the past 10 years (especially of people our age!)  I was so touched by the amount of people attending and from all areas of Marcel's life (even Reb Zalman calling!) 
Also, the fact that we all followed on foot to the internment site.

Again, I'm sorry I didn't know Marcel all these years.  I know that he is at peace now.
  
Love to you,
Lee

---
To Joy, Thea, Charles, aviva and Brett,
My sincerest condolences on the loss of your dearest Marcel and my good friend.
Sheldon Rosenbaum
---
Valley Beth Shalom Library Minyan with Reb Moshe Cohen
TORAH STUDY at 8.30 to 9.30 am with moshe
= in memory of Dr MARCEL KRAUTHAMMER
---
You and Aviva have been in my thoughts often during the past 10 days.  I hope you are both doing well.  I thought I would pass along a cheerful message: the Iris are putting out many new, healthy green shoots and there are already two stalks of blooms on the old stalks.  They will be wonderful when they open up. I think of all of you every morning when I pass by them on my way in the front door. 
Blessings to you all.  Julie Cage-Lindsay, Barlow Hospital
---
b"h
We knew him better as Menachem Elimelech, one of the names on our prayer list the longest. May Hashem send Joy and her family comfort, among all the mourners of B'nai Israel.--
chana Besser, Tsfat, Bikur Cholim
b"h

Baruch Hashem that you, mourning so intensely now, can enjoy a sunrise. 
You're special.
I'm seldom up that early, so I enjoy the sunsets over Mt. Meron from my window.
love,
chana Besser
---
Oh, Joy. So sorry to hear about Marcel. I have been in Chicago for a few days and will not be able to stop by today. My thoughts and prayers are with you my dear.
B'shalom,
Fran Krimston
---
My beautiful Joy,

I am so moved by your words about Marcel, thank you
for sending them.  I am with you now in spirit and
hope that you can come to Ruach this summer so I can
see you in person.

I also want you to know that my father and mother and
grandfather are buried at Simi Valley Mt. Sinai and
that just last week I was there with my family for my
father's unveiling.  It was very moving and wonderful
and as always, I loved being in such a beautiful
setting, one that my dad so enjoyed.

Many blessing to you and your family,

dave nidorf
---
Joy,

You did all that you could – I doubt that I will get there tomorrow, but know that I am thinking about you and Marcel.

Mark Bookman UJ
---
Dear Joy,
May you be comforted among the mourners of Jerusalem.
I send you my love and blessing to you for peace and rest.
You are truly a shining light and a model of selfless service.
My thoughts are with you.
moshe-tov Kreps
---
Dear Joy: My heartfelt condolences to you,  Avivale and the rest of your family.  I cannot begin to tell you how much I admired your heroism during the last few years.  Your love, your kindness, your intelligence and your energy maintained Marcel through his most difficult days.  I wish you continued courage as friends and family help you to reorder your life without him.  
Fondly, Miriam.Rain
-
Thank you Joy.

I have read. What that poor man went through. Nobody should have to suffer like that, so I suppose it is better for him to have gone on to rest without pain, without all the discomfort and humiliation that his condition brought to him.

May he rest in peace.

When you are ready for it, Shoshi expressed that she would like you to visit us in Arizona. It can be head-clearing to have a change of scenery. It goes without saying that I also would like you to spend time with us.
We will talk. If it makes sense, we can plan.

Let us know what we can do for you, Joy. Maybe there are things…

All the best,

Jack
---
dearest joy,  
 i am thinking of you and the beautiful funeral that you had for your dear husband, marcel.   it was a privilege for eli and myself to be with you and aviva at the hospital the night before and can only hope we provided some comfort for you.   we came over to the rabbi's after but it was so crowded we didn't get to speak to either of you.   i especially wanted to hug aviva as i can feel the deep pain she is feeling at losing her father. this isn't meant to deny your deep pain but i felt she and i had a connection the night before.  i am leaving for a retreat tomorrow for a week and will be home on thursday night.   i was serious with aviva when i told her to call  me or come by if she ever wants to talk.   please pass that message to her.   of course, the same goes for you as well.   i feel so honored to have you as my mentor of how to take care of a husband.   you certainly did a wonderful job all these years.    and to know that you and marcel had a wonderful healing --- what more could you want except, of course, for him to have regained his health and have lived.    but you are the model of a truly devoted and caring wife!!!   you can really feel that you did everything possible and have no guilt at all.   please contact me if you just feel like being with someone who will listen and hold your feelings with great delicacy.

with love and blessings to you and aviva at this time of your sorrow.  shayna
---
JOY, 
karen and i were in las vegas and sorry we missed the funeral.......i heard it was a huge turnout...... 
wishing you and your family our deepest heartfelt sympathy......i have many great memories of a wonderful man to cherish..... 


love and a hug, ian (Kroop) and karen
---
Dear Joy,
...I will be in touch
later. I hope that you are surrounded with love and support as you move
through the next days, weeks and months of returning to some semblance of
normalcy. A new life.        
Hugs and love, Marty Cohn Spiegel
---
I hope you and some of your family will make it to B'nai Horin tomorrow. Stan is dedicating the service to Marcel and you.
You are a brave strong woman Joy!
Be strong and I pray for healing energy for you.
Lots of love.
Gayle Gale
---
Joy,

Sande, Ross, Dean and I extend our deepest condolences on you and your family's loss. I just learned of Marcel's passing by email by Paul Selecky. I, unfortunately, am travelling and will not be back until late Saturday night. However, I have given the information to Sande and she will make every effort to attend the service tomorrow. 
Once again our condolences on this very sad day.
Yours,
Michael Littner, UCLA Sepulveda VA
---
Joy
Please accept my sympathies to you and your family on the passing of Marcel.  He certainly put up a valiant struggle and your devotion was more than admirable.

I am sorry that I am not arround during these days for you.   I am taking out time tomorrow to go to the shabbat service.  You, Marcel and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Hope to see you in February when my load is lessened.

Much love, Sharon Croskery
---
Dear Joy, 
Woke with this song in my mind this am. I send it on to you. Try singing it and see what you feel. 
Love, 
Paulette Rochelle-Levy
Somewhere 
There's a place for us 
Somewhere a place for us
 Peace and quiet and open air
 Wait for us
 Somewhere
 There's a time for us 
Some day a time for us 
Time together, With time to spare
Time to look
 Time to care
 Someday 
 Somewhere We'll find anew way of living
 We'll find a way of forgiving 
Somewhere
 There's a place for us
 A time and place for us 
Hold my hand 
And we're halfway there
 Hold my hand
 And I'll take you there
 Somehow,  Someday, Somewhere. 

 Westside Story                      Leonard Bernstein
---
.and dearest Anne, please know that I continue to send healing love and prayers to you. THANK YOU, MY DEAR. THAT IS VERY GENEROUS OF YOU AT THIS TIME. 
How are you?
I AM PREPARING FOR CHEMOTHERAPY.  
---
While i am writing, I just went to shelf to take down your "Mourning" book and I think give it to my daughter. Ah, the sweetest foto of us in the front page, from a Kallah years ago. 

XXXXXXX  I HOPE IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE USEFUL

funny, but for me, I don't want to get into a formal mourning stage because I have been mourning too long.

I THINK YOU CAN TRUST THAT, JOY. YOU HAVE STRUGGLED WITH THE ANGEL OF DEATH FOR SO LONG.

I am not in grief.  I just cry a lot and that is fine. Wake each morning crying. That too shall pass.  YES IT WILL PASS AND THE ACT OF CRYING WILL HELP IT PASS. TEARS ARE TO BE TRUSTED. THEY ARE FREINDS.

I am grateful that Marcel is finally free of his physical burdens and torment.  YES. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. IT HAS BEEN SUCH A LONG AND DIFFICULT JOURNEY FOR HIM TO FINALLY GET TO THIS FREEDOM. AND YOUR JOURNEY HAS ALSO BEEN LONG AND DIFFICULT.
Me?...  I look forward to returning to community   TO ITS EMBRACE AND ITS DELIGHTS.
One love, shalom and abundant blessings of health and joy to you,
Joy
"Serve G*d With Joy"

MUCH LOVE, ANNE
----
continuing to send you love. I wish I had the energy to come to you. sending you and Aviva blessings. Love, Anne Brener
---
Hello Joy, Please accept my condolences. Your husband is now free of suffering.
Love&Light, Reginah
----
Dear Sweet Joy,
   While Marcel is in my thoughts and my prayers, I will unfortunately be unable to visit during Shiva. I am travelling for the next couple of weeks (in fact I  had to leave the funeral service a bit early.)
   Marcel's funeral service was quite moving and beautiful and certainly well attended--a tribute to both you and Marcel.
   Now that Marcel's suffering has finally ended, I hope you too will be able to find peace in your heart.
With sympathy and warm wishes to you and your family,
Bobbi Leigh Zito
---
Dear Joy,

I was saddened to receive the email of Marcel’s passing.  I honor your deep spiritual beingness and know that wherever you are – God is. 

Blessings,
I look forward to giving you a BIG HUG upon our next blessed meeting.

Christine

---
Joy,

I am so glad I was able to attend the services for Marcel; it was so moving and inspring. And to hear my teacher Rabbi Adlerstein speak so eloquently, and Marcel’s brother of his special childhood memories, and the others.  Then to see you later and hear about your treasured relationship. I learned so much about your beloved.

I will probably not be able to come to further shiva but you are so deeply in my heart.  Blessings to you and your family.

Helene Silber
---
Dear Joy,
This is what your cousin Benjamin posted on his webzine.
All the best,
Jack Zohar

PREVIOUSLY REQUESTED PRAYERS NO LONGER NEEDED

Dearest readers:
Thanks to all who prayed on behalf of Menachem Elimelech ben (son of) Tova Matil, who passed away on Jan. 17th.
Jews change to the father's Hebrew name for prayers and doing acts in the merit of the soul after death. Those who wish to help the soul of Menachem Elimelech ben (son of) Shulim are encouraged to continuing to act on his behalf.
Hamakom y'nachem eschem b'soch sh'ar avelei Tziyon v'Yerushalayim.
May we know no more sorrow!
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky,
Editor in Chief

---
B”H

Dearest Aviva, Brett, Mrs. Krauthammer and the entire family,

            Our hearts and thoughts are with you at this difficult time. We only we wish we could be with you in person.  We feel so honored that we had the chance to meet you father, albeit very briefly, on that beautiful day in June and only wish we had the opportunity to know him more.  Your touching description of him provides a glimpse of this very impressive person.

            We wanted to share something that we found particularly meaningful.  When Ariel Sharon lost his son in a tragic accident, the Rebbe sent a letter of condolence.  In that letter, the Rebbe explained the traditional words of comfort, "Hamakom Yinachem Eschem Bsoch Shaar Avelei Tzion Vyerushalayim.”  The Rebbe wrote that the mention of  Mourners of Zion upon comforting someone for a personal loss tells us to draw a parallel between the two.  The loss of even one person is a communal sorrow just as the destruction of Zion . In addition, just as Jerusalem and Zion were only lost in the physical sense yet its soul remains alive within the heart of every Jew so too does the soul of the departed continue to live. And last, just as the loss of Jerusalem and Zion is temporary, so too will G-d restore us those we have lost with the coming of Moshiach.

May Hashem comfort you among all other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

With you,

Rabbi Tzvi and Chanie Backman and family
Tufts Jewish Student Center, Chabad
---
from Michael Rosenberg  of Torah.org
This Week's Misheberach List Parshas Shemos 5766
Baruch Dayan HaEmes: Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim A”H

We have had the zchus of praying for Marcel Krauthammer, Menachem Elimelech ben Tova Matil, for the past several years.  From time to time I have received gracious and thoughtful e-mails from his wife Joy.  Joy’s name describes the special way she has always accepted G-d’s decrees and appreciated the love and support of those around her. Although I never had the privilege to meet either of these special people, I have come to feel very close to them and especially to the long and hard battle Menachem Elimelech waged for so long.

This past week Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim A”H returned his pure soul to G-d.
T’hei Nishmoso Tzrura B’Tzror Ha’Chaim.
May his Neshomo be bound up together with the souls of the living and may HaShem comfort Joy and the Krauthammer Family among all those who mourn in Tzion and Yerushalayim.  May He wipe the tears from their faces and the faces of all those who grieve in the Jewish Nation.
--------
Dear Joy,
I have such mixed emotions about what I want to say to you, but both Richard and I extend our condolences to you and the family. I may not have known Marcel, but I know his spirit and zest for life. Someone like that never leaves us.
May you be consoled by the many years of happy memories and all that he accomplished. You are such a special person and your strength and the love of those who love both of you will see you through this difficult time. With friends like the Klaristenfelds and the Kirsches no one can stay down for long. I’m sorry we were not in Los Angeles to be with you this week.

We’ll be down for two weeks Feb.12-25th when I’m having a hip replacement at Centinela Hospital near LAX. I asked Barbara and Kenny to hook up with Sheldon and Joyce and come out for a visit to Westwood where my son, Scott, lives. Maybe you can come with them if you’re up to it. My baby grandson will put a smile on your face. That’s a guarantee!

My thoughts are with you,
Love,

Charna Ravich
---
Dearest Joy,

    This is Nancy Horowitz Perren.  I'm so sorry to hear of Marcel's passing.  My friend, Myrna Gale, remembered to tell me today, Thursday, and I also received an e-mail this evening from Carol Maller from Temple Ramat Zion.  Had I received this information earlier, I most surely would have attended the funeral, and would have attended minyon this evening.

    May God help you find peace and consolation among the mourners of Jerusalem.  My heart is heavy knowing the sorrow you all have suffered.  I have such fond memories of the years Marcel and Steve built the sukkah together every year, when the girls were young.

    I will do my best to get to minyan next week.
Love Nancy
---
Hi  Joy,

         I'm so glad we were able to come yesterday.  This is one of the blessings of being 'semi-retired'.    Karl was anxious to be there with you.   The time from training to now has whisked by too fast for all of us.    Aviva was just a little gal when I saw her last and she became a beautiful woman.     I spoke briefly in French with Thea, but I don't think she remembered me from 1975 when she and Marcel's Dad took us to a play by Jean Barbeau in Montreal.    She seemed a bit 'shell-shocked' from it all, and for understandable reasons, of course.   Charlie gave a beautiful speech about Marcel's childhood, which of course I never heard before.  I didn't have a chance to tell him that his critique of Spielberg's movie 'Munich' is right on the money, as far as I'm concerned.   The Krauthammer brilliance shines thru best in person.  Unfortunately,   when Marcel and I talked about his childhood, it was at a time when his focus was more on the unpleasant aspects of growing up as a Jewish immigrant in Montreal, rather than the positive side of growing up.

         I didn't know before you are friends with Judy Sommerstein, a wonderful gal.   I was partnered with her husband, Adam, for 30 years & now we still see each other a bit at Harbor UCLA.

         I will see Irwin & Yda on February 2 in Carmel;   we talked a bit about Cambodia before they left.

         It was a pleasure to see Alan & Toby's beautiful curly haired daughters, as well;  maybe they take after your sister.

         I'm sorry we could not stay to sit shiva with you, but  being so far away and the short notice made this impossible.   Please know that our hearts are with you during this transitional time.   I'm also hoping for a rapid recovery from your recent knee surgery.


Lots of love, thoughts and blessings from us,

yo & Ginette Aelony, UCLA
On Jan 19, 2006, at 8:42 AM, JOY wrote:

Dearest Karl, Yo and Jerry,

It meant much to me that you were able to attend Marcel's zt'l funeral.
I am glad that you, Karl and Yo met Aviva, and Yo, I am glad that you met my
younger cousins, daughters of Alan (UCI) and Toby Cohen whom you met in
Vietnam.

I would be most appreciative if you were able to share with Irwin and Yda
anything about Marcel's gathering of love.
They are in Cambodia and are very sad not to have shared this with us all.
Yda and Irwin every single day have been supportive of us.

If you write anything and send it to me, I will forward it to them.
They came to see me the night before they left, always knowing for how many
times, that it could be the last time.

One love, shalom and abundant blessings of health and joy to you,
Joy
"Serve G*d With Joy"

---
 dear joy
i was so sorry to hear that marcel passed away. you have gone through a lot and deserve all the praise that a good wife deserves. he suffered so, i guess it's a blessing that it is finally over.
please accept my sincere condolences
love
bobbee  Zito
---
Dear Joy,

    My heart is with you at this time of grief, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    If there is something I can do to support you at this time, please let me know.

    Uzi
R. U. Weingarten
---
Dearest Joy
You and your incredible spirit  have been in our minds every day during the past tragic years of incredible sorrow that you have borne with such strength and devotion, sharing the grim burden that has tortured Marcel in such an unrelenting manner. His suffering was your misery, but just as he bore the unrelenting advances of a miserable disease with great courage you were an exemplar of wonderful resilience and marvelous humour throughout the unimaginably painful journey that took Marcel to the inevitable conclusion.

We know that these same qualities will ensure that you will show your indomitable shining vibrancy and continue to give your friends and Aviva with her marvelous new family a wonderful future together. We mourn the present and cry over the past but we look forward to a bright new future and enduring friendship.
 Love (from Myanmar) from your great friends,
Irwin and Yda
---
from Dr. Mike Golub    18-Jan-06 09:37 PM 
To the Krauthammer Family: How beautiful were the words spoken by rabbis, friends and family in the hills of Mt. Sinai in honor of a wonderful person. Marcel was a teacher to us all. For those of us who study medicine, Marcel was the ultimate teacher. Not just the expertise that he brought to his specialty, pulmonary medicine, not just his skill in reading chest x-rays (how wonderful that Geoff Applebaum found a wonderful home for his collection), but more importantly what he taught us about caring and consideration. And he taught us the joy of finding your area of skill and honing it. He loved those things he could perfect, be it golf or teaching. I think back fondly upon the times we spent together, the housestaff softball game where I brought my son and Marcel brought Aviva and he pitched in his Sandy Koufax jersy. I am thankful I was able to quickly stop by on Monday morning to say good-bye. We will miss him dearly. All our best wishes from his colleagues at Sepulveda VA.
---
Dear Joy,

I am so sorry that I was unable to join Karl and Yo in attending Marcel's funeral. I heard that it was a beautiful service.  We appreciate your keeping us posted all these months and most of all we enjoyed seeing the pictures on Marcel's website when he was smiling and celebrating at Aviva and Brett's wedding.  We share with you at this time of deep sorrow and will continue to remember him as a special friend.
Love to you and your family,
Gail Wasserman
---
Joy: I have a friend who will give Marcel's name to the Tibetan Monks and they will pray for him on his journey. Once this morning period is over and if you remember, I would like to dance Marcel's picture to the tree this year at our Oak Dance. Many people in the community have heard me pray for him. If you have a photo of Marcel and are willing to send it to me so that I can Dance him to the tree, I will make sure that I return it to you after the dance. If you are interested in the Dance I will send you some literature on it when it comes out in another month or so. The Dance this year will be held on June 2nd, 3rd and fourth of June in Occidental CA. It is about an hour and a half north of the San Franscico area.

If you are ever in the area please look me up or if you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask.

Your friend and Marcel's golfing confidant

Leo 
Leo De Long
---
Dear Rabbi Adlerstein.

When I looked at Marcel yesterday (at the funeral), I want you to know that his cute little chipmunk smile came back.
I have not seen it in six months.  It was without pain and agony. Marcel is now finally free.

Yes, you are right. He did love it (funeral). Marcel was all around us.
The service today was a real outpouring of love, affection, and admiration for Marcel.  I'm sure he was pleased with it. -Yitzchok


THANK YOU for sharing your love and memories with us.

One love, shalom and abundant blessings of health and joy to you,
Joy
"Serve G*d With Joy"

---
Joy:

Thank you for informing me of Marcel's passing. It was kind of expected that I would receive your e-mail. I was sitting at my desk at work Tuesday morning and had a clear feeling that Marcel had passed on. It was like a calmness and knowing came over me. It is hard to explain.

I did a pipe ceremony this morning praying for Marcel's journey and your family's courage and strength to endure and over come this tragic loss, coming through the other side healthier and happier. This is a very difficult time and my prayers are with you. Marcel will always be with us who knew him because we carry his memory in our hearts. He is finally free of the constraints of broken body. I'm sure he is laughing, telling jokes and playing golf.

Joy, condolences to you and Marcel's family. Peace be with you. Please keep in touch.

In harmony and balance

Leo DeLong
---
Dearest Joy,

I am so sorry for your loss.

And I am amazed and humbled by your lovely words and
prayers for your beloved Marcel.  

May you be comforted among all the mourners of Tzion
and Yerushalayim.

B'shalom,

Ellen Fleischmann
---
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for an easy transition for Marcel.
Looking forward to seeing you Saturday.

Hope enough people came today.
Sorry I could not come.

Warmly,
Peggi Sturm
---
The service today was a real outpouring of love, affection, and admiration for Marcel.  I'm sure he was pleased with it.

Did anyone send a obituary notice to the Jewish Journal?  I mentioned it to Amy Klein, whom I happened to speak to on the way back.  If you have something you can send it directly to her at amy@jewishjournal.com

thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak and emote.

Yitzchok Adlerstein  Torah.org
---
Dear Joy,
   Please receive my deepest sympathy... Having recently lost my Dad and my mom before him, I know a little bit of your process and send my prayers and love from that place.
May you receive all the strength, trust and grace of Goodness.
Blessings, Andy Gold (Rose Mountain)
---
My dear Joy,
I will come over to see you during Shiva.  My heart is with you this day.  
All my love,
Carol Kaufman
---
Dear Sweet Joy,

For the first time I paused at work to open my
personal email, not really knowing why.
and there were the words "Baruch Dayan haEmet"
and so my friend I send them back to you and yours.
May the next days find you support by all the
communities in the LA area that you have given so much
of your energy, may that sustain you.
I will call you on Sunday in the morning, I think that
might be the best time to reach you at home,
Elisabeth Rogalsky
---
Dear Joy,

I was so sad to learn of Marcel's passing.  He waged a very lengthy, valiant battle to stay here and be with his loved ones and the life he loved.  You especially, and Aviva gave so much of yourselves to guide Marcel through his struggle.  And Brett was an added blessing. You must know in your heart that you gave more of yourself than most.  May the admiration you felt for Marcel, and loving devotion you showed him as your husband and father of your daughter sustain you through this grieving period.  May he find peace and rest.

Although I won't be able to join you for services because I work in Los Angeles, I will come out to be with you at some point during the shiva period.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Ever since I read your very special email, I keep envisioning you in your beautiful clothing, tallit and amulets.  You're comforting everyone else as you create heavenly sounds with your bowls and rhythms with your drums to escort Marcel to his new home.  Tears flow.....yet healing is created and love blooms and blossoms.  As always, you have shared who you are and shared JOY!

Sending you and yours comfort and blessings.

I love you,
Allene Prince
---
Dearest Gila Rena Tzohara bat Leba bat Etel bat Perl bat Etel:

I send you, Aviva and Marcel's mother and brother my deepest condolences on the passing of your husband, Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim.  (I hope that the hug I am sending through Arlene Shapiro gets to you today.)  I am unable to attend the funeral and meal of consolation.  I wish that I could, but I would be worrying about the work I committed to.  I just returned home from my trip to Portland for my niece's bat mitsvah and I need to focus on my work today.  I will be able to sit shiva with you.  I am thinking either Friday, Saturday or Sunday evening.  Please let me know if you have a preference.

I hope that today goes well for you.  I know that you and Aviva will be surrounded by many people who care very much about you and Marcel.

with love, Gale Trachtenberg
---
DEAR JOY AND AVIVA,

OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES ON THE PASSING OF YOUR BELOVED MARCEL. HE WAS A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.

WITH LOVE
LINDA AND GARY ETTING
---
Hi Joy,

Thank you for sharing this tribute. I will share it with the SUM staff. All of our thoughts are with you and your family. You have been a courageous soul throughout it all, and I honor you for the consciousness and devotion that I know you exemplified in caring for your husband up to his graduation.

Love and Blessings from all at SUM.

Patrick Harbula, Spiritual Unity Movement
Hi All,

Below is a touching tribute from Joy Krauthammer to Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim, who has been on our healing list for some time. Please continue to keep them both and Joy's family in your prayers.

Blessings,

Patrick
---
In Washington,DC ---
I send you my most heartfelt sympathy. Know that I am with you and sending you Blessings,
Alice Aspen March
---
Deepest heart-felt condolences to you, Joy, and your family on the passing of Marcel z”l. May his memory be a blessing and may you find strength and peace in your faith and loving community.
Your friend,
Rema Nadel, Metivta
---
Joy, I will continue to send you light and love throughout this time of mourning and when I'm on the plane I will send a special prayer into the heavens.  Hashem is everywhere but  I always feel a little closer when i'm flying in the clouds. 
 hugs, Miriam Stein
---
Peggi called me to tell me about your loss........please know that my best wishes, healing thoughts, are with you and yours.
I pray that he didn’t suffer too much and the passing was easy. I hope that you will find peace .
Love  Eva
 ----
So sorry for your loss, and thank you for showing your love and devotion to our God and your faith. I am so glad I was able to hold Marcels hands in mine and join Alicia and Batya in prayer and song for Marcel.
See you at the funeral,
shoshi
---
my heartfelt wishes go out to you.  Know that I will be there in spirit but cannot be with you in body since I will be in Palmdale working.  With lots of hugs I stand by you.
Bobbie Japka
---
Dear Joy, Aviva and Brett,

Hamakom y’nachem etchem b’toch sh’ar avelei Tziyon v’Yerushayim.

I have so many beautiful, warm, loving memories of Marcel.  He always made me feel proud to be a Jew, rabbi and human being.  The vision of his face on the day of your wedding will be a blessing for me until I die.

Marian, Rachel and Ari all join me in sending you our love.

Rabbi Steve Cohen  (CBBSB, UC Santa Barbara Hillel)
---
May Marcel rest in peace and you dear Joy be blessed with light, healing and the many blessings you so deserve.  I know you will continue to keep his memory alive.
So sorry i won't make it to the funeral or shiva as I'll be back east celebrating my great nephew becoming a Bar Mitzvah.. a blessing for me. 
Where can I make a donation in Marcel's memory.
luv and light,
Miriam
---

Dear Joy,

My deepest sympathies to you and to Aviva and Brett.  This is a sorrowful time.  Our thoughts are with you all.  I will join you after the funeral at the home of the Klaristenfelds.

Hope you can get some sleep tonight to help sustain you tomorrow and the days to come.

Love,
Carol 
---
O, Joy, to finally have closure and to be able to fully grieve.  You have been so brave and steadfast since I met you those years ago in Israel.  I so honor your journey and your love and selflessness. 
Hashem m’nahem otakh b’shaar avalei Yisrael,
Your friend,
                 SaraLeya….  (R. Schley)
---
Dear Joy,
    I am thinking of you.  Words seem meaningless in times like these.  I am so sorry for your loss.  My heart is with you and your family. 
 Neila
---
Joy;
Our condolences to you and your family.  May the the passing of your beloved Marcel bring peace and blessings to you and your children.  Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Warmest regards,
Carole, Ayo & Louis Adeyemi (Joy's Nigerian priest djembe drum teacher)
---
Joy:
I am so sorry to hear this news, but I know that Marcel is now finally at peace.  I will be out of town for the next week so cannot attend the funeral or Shiva, but I will be thinking of you.  And Marcel's wisdom, humor and teachings will forever be with me.

With special thoughts,
Michael Rotblatt  UCLA
---
Joy,

As much as I would like to honor Marcel, I will not be able to attend his funeral services on Wednesday.

I know that I am one of a very, very large number of people who whose lives were touched and enriched by Marcel.  He was never to busy to help a patient, to impatient to answer a question, or too distracted to provide assistance where requested.  His knowledge was encyclopedic; his compassion limitless.  He will be always remembered.

Matthew Goetz  UCLA.edu
---
WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES! WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES! WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES!
It was about 4:30 PM when my friend Gayle and me went to the hospital to visit DR. Krauthammer, our Joy's husband. He was not in the room where we were told that he was supposed be.  Wrong info. We asked the reception were our friend would be. She said "go to there # 208 on your left hand side."  So we went to look for him, 2nd wrong info, no name no #. We asked again the 3rd time. We were led to him. He was in peace. Sleeping. Breathing deep.  I went to the left side of his bed, and touched, rubbed softly his left hand. Num., no motion, colorless. Few minutes later we started to sing, Shmah, peace to you, hevenu shalom aleichem, mei Jidishe Mome. He opened his eyes. Such beautiful eyes. They were shining, sparkling, smiling. I saw his mouth move a little, but not strong enough to say anything or smile. But HIS EYES. HIS EYES. HIS EYES. They were like a baby's eyes. What a happy feeling. After a moment I took his right hand did the same what I did with his left hand. There was a respond. They were week, but fine. They were better than his left hand. But his eyes were big and bright.  I could see the smiles in his eyes. I could hear the whispers from his eyes. I don't think that he had a dread black, schwarz, kushi man sang Hebrew, Judith and English songs holding his hand beside his bed.  He had eyes that any woman would make fall in love. He made my day. He made my weeks. As we sung these songs there was nothing, but joy filed the room. A big  and tall pretty black woman, a nurse, who was listening to the songs asked me,"What kind of songs are these?" I answered her, that they were Hebrew, songs, Jewish songs. She asked are you Jewish? I answered that we are all Jewish. She asked you have an accent where are you from? I said that I'm Ethiopian. She said "the original Jew, the original, I love the songs." She did some work on Joy's husband and left, with a big pretty smile.
I thought that Dr. Krauthammer has sexy eyes, like Kevin Kostner, Yul Briner.Or Richard Gere, but only when they all smile.
I would like to know Joy's opinion about this.
REDEMPTION SONG   BOB MARLEY
alula
---
Dear Joy,

Nadya is at Eilat Chayyim for the week and I just told her the news. I'm recovering from the flu and have no voice.
So, for the time being this e/mail will have to suffice. I will davennen that you find comfort in your grief and release. May you always remember l'tova what Marcel and to know that while many find haShem through the portals of  pain and suffering it is also a blessing to know that one can find haShem through JOY
God bless and comfort you.

Reb victor gross of Boulder
---
I am so saddened for all of you.  You have had such great courage.  Many of the staff have asked about Marcel.  He made such an impression on them.  He was a kind and loving man.   Please accept my condolences and that of my staff who cared for him for such a long time.   I say a prayer for you and Aviva  and Marcel's mother.. 
Candice Upham, Northridge Hospital
---
 Dear Joy,
My heart is filled with your sorrow. You are in my thoughts and preyers. Much
love and hugs and kisses are sent your way.
xoxo
Karen Golden
---
My condolences to you, Joy, on the passing of your husband.  
 With love and hope, Linda Yoffe
---
Dearest Joy and Aviva,
Your words of comfort from your deepest self shows and gives me peace for your own journey through this moments.
May your love to Hashem and from Hashem meet constantly and may Marcel´ soul ride on this bridge.
Much love, Perla
--
May Marcel rest in peace!  What a journey he has traveledl.
Love and light. Perla
---
Joy,
Please accept our condolences.  Much love to you...prayers and light for your grieving and healing.
Love & Light,
B'rachot,
Carol
 ---
B"H
Dear Joy,

So sorry about the loss of your beloved Marcel.  You are an awesome spiritual warrior. 

You & your family are in my heart and prayers.  

May you receive & experience the love and comfort surrounding you now and always.

Love,

T'mimah
---
Oh sweet beautiful Joy,  May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion. Give yourself some time to take a few deep breaths, go inside and connect with Hashem and receive all the love you have given reflected back to you. I am sorry for your loss. Love and blessings, Mindy Ribner
---
Oh, Honey,
How can I put into words my feelings?  I am so hurting for you and wish to send you peace and healing love.  My hugs are there as well, and I will light my candle tonight.
I am not sure of what my plans are for tomorrow, although I will try my best to be there.  It is also Dennis' yahrtzeit and I planned an event for his friends at 7:30 PM.  Hopefully I can get a ride with Marilyn which would get me home in time for my commitment.  Unfortunately, I am in charge of Dennis's event.
Still, I am sure things will work out as they are meant to.

I am with you now in spirit and will continue to pray for you.
I love you.
Rena Wander
---
Dear Joy, 
 I'll be there. I know you, Aviva and Thea will be surrounded by so many loving friends.
 Please be well, 
Paulette Rochelle-Levy
---
Baruch Dayan HaEmes.  Joy, I am very sorry for your loss.  May HaShem comfort you and all those who mourn among the
Jewish People.

Michael E. Rosenberg (Torah.org)
---
My Dearest Joy,

Words cannot express my sadness for you, Aviva and family in the loss of your beloved Marcel, may he have a lichten gan eden (a bright heaven).      My thoughts and love are with you at this very sad time.    May G-d give you strength and comfort you along with all the mourners of Zion.

I cannot get to the funeral for Marcel tomorrow, but I will come to see you.     Please know that my deep condolences go out to you and your loving family.

With love,
Shirley Lowy
---
Dear Joy:

Thank you for letting me know of Marcel's passing. He was a brave and courageous warrior for life, for light, for love. And you have stood by his side every step of the way.

May the Holy One send you consolation, and may the memory of Marcel's and your love fortify you for the days to come.

B'virkat Nechama,

Brad Artson  UJ
---
Ha-Makom Yinachem Eschem B'soch Shaar Aveilei Tzion Verushalayim. And may we never again see sorrows, but only everlasting simcha in the final geula when all tears will be erased and all of us will be reunited, sooner than we can imagine.

--Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
---
Dear Joy,

All of our love and condolences to you and your family, with fond memories of Marcel.

Marlene, Neal, Marissa and Brianna Brostoff
---
Dear Joy,

All of our love and condolences to you and your family, with fond memories of Marcel.

Marlene, Neal, Marissa and Brianna Brostoff
----
Joy & Aviva;

It is with such great sorrow that I write to you.  I was so deeply saddened with the news of Marcel's passing

I pray that as time passes and you begin to heal, his memory will be a blessing.

I am leaving for Australia this evening and will not see you tomorrow.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Please know that ANYTHING we can do for you is just a call away.

With love and saddness

Lynn Mayer
---
... Words of wisdom to remember im times that are difficult. the words of David Helfot. "Life is a journey, a journey a day, every memoent is precious." May Marcel's spirit live on within us?
Tears of love, Gayle XOXOXOXOXO
---
i just read your e mail and sent you few seconds ago my other one because i openend it first being important. joy darling  we are crying both of us. yes we all knew the day was near and now it has arrived. marcels journey in life has been completed and we can remember him now healthy and full of life during the years we were together. soory about my typing we are leaving to the airport. sorry we are not together with you in this tragic moment. our deepest condolances to al the family. lots of love to you aviva and brett, y and i
(Yda and Irwin)
---
Shalom.
May the Holy One comfort you along with all the mourners in Zion, Jerusalem and this holy planet.
Itzchak Marmorstein
---
Dear Joy:

POW!  That really hurt.  I happened to be at the computer when your e-mail came through and just the subject line made me realize I lost a really good friend. I had a late start to the day and have to go to an industry meeting in a few minutes and consequently I had just said his tehillim (for the last time) about 20 minutes before receiving your e-mail.

Having played golf with Marcel and at the same time having him sit next to me and have the patience to explain the davening at my first "Frum" Yom Kippur, showed what a diversified and wonderful human being he was. 

I don't think that my old friend would mind me saying so, but he leined the Torah much better than he played golf.

I will cut this short because I know you have many arrangements to take care of.  Yes, Emertz Hashem I will be at the funeral and also at the meal of consolation.

May Hashem comfort you at this time!

Stuart (Flait)
---
Dear  Joy,
I am so sorry to receive this news and pray that the beautiful memories of your beloved Marcel and the loving support of your chevre (both near and worldwide) will console you at this time.
Brachot,
Susan Saxe  (AlephAJR)
---
I send you from my heart all blessings and prayers at this time.  So do all others here who knew you all and became so fond of you.
Julia Cage-Linsay @ Barolow2000.org
---
dearest joy and aviva,  you have our deepest sympathies.   we feel it was a
true mitvah for us to have been in the room with marcel last night to share
his last moments in time.   i am sure that eli's song in some way reach his
soul as a send off and help him in his transition.   we will be able to be
with you tomorrow.  you are both loved and in our prayers and thoughts.
aviva, if you need to talk please call me.   you also joy.  i am here for
you..  with love,  shayna and eli
---
Dear Joy,

Thanks you for sending me your recent e-mail.  I found it very moving.
May "The Place" give you comfort, along with all the mourners of Zion.

A friend and rabbi told me that "The Place" (HaMakom, a name for the
divine presence) can also be thought of as the place where your memories
reside.

May that place/palace of memories of your husband, Marcel/Menachem
Elimelech, continue to be a source of comfort for you and for all of
your family, now and forever.

With all my love,

    Sherman/Zim (Betty's son?)
---
Baruch Dayan HaEmes.

I am very much going to miss Marcel.

Please let me know whether you want me to speak.

When I left, it just struck me how well suited you and Marcel were - this enthusiastic embrace of Hashem's presence.

You will please forgive me for making the following suggestion.  The single thing that Marcel needs now (and has needed for some time) is peace.

Peace is an attribute of G-d, since it is one of His Names.  It is resident within Him; we draw on it when we connect to that part (as it were) of Him.  In Torah thought, you can only connect with one of the midos of Hashem when you first actualize it to some extent within yourself.  I'm no rebbe-type, but to me it seems so suggestive that what you folks should be doing is adding a layer of shalom that doesn't exist.  Through it, you could hope for a greater beracha of peace for Marcel.

I mean, of course, the relationship with Marcel's mother.  The task should be a two-party affair, but I don't know whether that is feasible at her age.  I sort of suspect that decades of frictions could be overcome by one strong embrace and statement that whatever happened in the past, we are all going to be there for each other with love during this coming week. 

Maybe I'm naive.  I hope not.

BE"H, I will be there tomorrow.  (Rabbi Sauer is a Kohen, so I suspect that he won't.)

Yitzchok (Adlerstein)
---
Joy and Aviva
Words can never express the sorrow we feel for you at this most difficult time.Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Sadly, we will join with  you at the Meal of Consulation.Love to you. Merle and Michael
---
we are all so sorry! it is hard to be far away from you on this time! we love and hug you all!mira, tomer shelly and ori
---
May his memory be for a blessing,and may your soul heal and be renewed.  all my thoughts are with you, unfortunately I cannot attend the funeral but of course I will say Kaddish in his honor and memory
---
 Joy, our deepest sadness for your loss accompanies prayers of healing for you and your loving family.  May his soul now rest in peace.  Blessings of peace and love, Lynda and Rabbi Stan
---
Dear Joy, Aviva, and Barbara,
   The service was beautiful. I wanted to wish you a good day. So please take in a deep breath and enjoy the day                                                                      
            Love, Sharona
---
dear joy
i was so sorry to hear that marcel passed away. you have gone through a lot and deserve all the praise that a good wife deserves. he suffered so, i guess it's a blessing that it is finally over.
please accept my sincere condolences
love
bobbee
---
Dear Joy,
 I am so sorry that I was unable to join *Karl and Yo in attending Marcel's funeral. I heard that it was a beautiful service.  We appreciate your keeping us posted all these months and most of all we enjoyed seeing the pictures on Marcel's website when he was smiling and celebrating at Aviva and Brett's wedding.  We share with you at this time of deep sorrow and will continue to remember him as a special friend.
Love to you and your family,
Gail Wasserman
*Marcel's first boss. Harbor General Hospital
---
 Dear Joy,

    My heart is with you at this time of grief, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    If there is something I can do to support you at this time, please let me know.

    Uzi
R. U. Weingarten
---
Joy,

We just got back from vacation this past week and I finally picked up my e-mails.  I was so sorry to hear that your beloved Marcel passed.  My sincerest sympathy goes to you and your family in your loss.

Sandy Lynn
---
 --------------
The service today was a real outpouring of love, affection, and admiration for Marcel.  I'm sure he was pleased with it.

Did anyone send a obituary notice to the Jewish Journal?  I mentioned it to Amy Klein, whom I happened to speak to on the way back.  If you have something (it has to be much shorter than this, though) you can send it directly to her at amy@jewishjournal.com

thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak and emote.

Yitzchok
R. Y. Adlerstein
 ---
Dearerst Joy
You and your incredible spirit  have been in our minds every day during
the past tragic years of incredible sorrow that you have borne with such
strength and devotion, sharing the grim burden that has tortured Marcel
in such an unrelenting manner. His suffering was your misery, but just
as he bore the unrelenting advances of a miserable disease with great
courage you were an exemplar of wonderfful resilience and marvelous
humour throughout the unimaginably painful journey that took Marcel to
the inevitable conclusion.

We know that these same qualities will ensure
that you will show your indomitable shining vibrancy and continue to
give your friends and Aviva with her marvelous new family a wonderful
future together. We mourn the present and cry over the past but we look
forward to a bright new future and enduring friendship.
 Love (from Myanmar) from your great friends,
Irwin and Yda
---
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for an easy transition for Marcel.
Looking forward to seeing you Saturday.

Hope enough people came today.
Sorry I could not come.

Warmly,
Peggi
B'nai Horin
---
DEAR JOY AND AVIVA,

OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES ON THE PASSING OF YOUR BELOVED MARCEL. HE WAS A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.

WITH LOVE
LINDA AND GARY ETTING
---
GOOD JOB, JOY
 LOVE,
Paulette 
---
Dear Joy,
I extend my heart-felt condolences. You yourself have written everything I could possibly say (write) to you at this time.
So, without words, I give you a tremendous hug
love & blessings,
Ruthie
in Old City
---
Dear Auntie Joy!....

“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come." - Rabindranath Tagore

"Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never. Never was time it was not, end and beginnings are dreams." - Bhagavad Gita

Our love to you, Aviva & Brett... during this difficult time...

Abe, Ana, Valeska and Emilio

drumming friends  (in India)
---
 Dear Joy, Aviva, and Barbara,
   The service was beautiful. I wanted to wish you a good day. So please take in a deep breath and enjoy the day                                                                      
 Love, Sharona
---
 Dearest Joy,

I am so sorry for your loss.

And I am amazed and humbled by your lovely words and
prayers for your beloved Marcel.  

May you be comforted among all the mourners of Tzion
and Yerushalayim.

B'shalom, Ellen Fleischmann
---

During this week in 2013, of what would have been my 39th wedding anniversary, and shortly before Marcel's, z'l, 8th yahrzeit, I received the following thoughtful letter.
Subject: Dr. Krauthammer
Earlier this year I "googled" some of the Drs I used to work for at the Sepulveda VA in Calif.  One of them was Dr Krauthammer, but when I looked him up I was saddened to see he had died.  
I was a clerk typist at the VA when Dr K started there (I moved away in 1980) and just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed working for him.  We (the other secretary and I) met Joy and their daughter - wonderful family.  He was always very polite and would answer any of our dumb questions (we thought they were dumb) but never made us feel dumb or silly - that's why we felt so comfortable asking him about anything - he took the time to explain things to us - clerk typists!  There was a mutual respect between him and the residents and fellows he taught and worked with.  
Just wanted to tell you how much I thought of him and that he was a kind, respectful and humble person to have known.  
Linda Laing
~

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