Memorial Plaques and Matzeivah

Marcel's, z'l, 6th yahrzeit

Today is the first day of Tevet, Rosh Chodesh. In 16 days, it is Marcel's, z'l, 6th yahrzeit.

This week for Chanukah, I sent tzedakah in Marcel's memory. I will do so again on his yahrzeit, and as I do also on yiskors. Chabad has already sent to me in snail mail, the little kosher candle in the can.

Hadassah's annual Yahrzeit reminder from Hebrew University Medical Center at Ein Kerem is on my fridge. "May you be comforted in the memory of your loved one and be blessed for the deed of remembrance." The shul where Torah parshahs are written in Marcel's memory, has also sent their yahrzeit reminder, now on my fridge. Reminders from other shuls are expected. A dear cousin of mine reminds me he says Kaddish. I remind my family.

This week with Aviva and Brett visiting for Chanukah, we went to the cemetery and left our stones and love. May the neshama of Menachem EliMelech ben Shulim v'Tova be blessed. I will call Marcel's 90 year old mother on his yahrzeit, in addition to my weekly Shabbat call.
 - Joy Krauthammer



Bronze Memorial IMO Marcel Krauthammer
Chabad of Northridge, CA

This bronze memorial plaque is placed in one of the two synagogues 
where Marcel served simultaneously for 18 years as devoted Ba'al Koreh, Torah reader.
For yahrzeit and yiskors, I, Joy, usually davven at Chabad, and touch Marcel's plaque, 
which I do every time I enter Chabad. He is not forgotten.
Marcel's family and friends at Chabad always remember him.
~

Plaque IMO Marcel
Young Israel, Long Beach, Long Island, NY
Krauthammers were active for decades at YILB.


Plaque IMO Marcel
Young Israel, Long Beach, Long Island, NY
Krauthammers were active for decades at YILB for decades.
Family redecorated the synagogue lobby and entrance in memory of Marcel.
~

To Shomrei Torah Synagogue
As was donated by Krauthammer Family Foundation to be inscribed
IMO Marcel Krauthammer, M.D.

as seen designed at the top:


IMO Marcel Krauthammer

At the time of Marcel's funeral and shiva, Krauthammer family purchased two Parshas being written
in a new Torah at Shomrei Torah Synagogue (STS) in West Hills, California.
Because friends, the Klaristenfelds, were filled with great Chesed during Marcel's many medically challenging years,
we made the donation at their synagogue, STS, IN MEMORY OF MARCEL.
This parsha is also IHO Barbara and Rabbi Ken/Chanan Klaristenfeld, for their dedicated friendship.
For lack of space, the STS lobby wall plaque does not contain all the important information.

Parshat Vayeira containing the Ikeda, written IMO Marcel, 
is read on High Holiday, Rosh Hashana 2nd day. 
STS considers this to be an honor.

The 2nd Parsha, Parshat BaHa'alotechaI purchased IMO MARCEL.
This was Marcel's Bar Mitzvah parshah.
Marcel read BaHa'alotecha every year, as well as every parshah, as he was Ba'al Koreh at two shuls.

Marcel's chevruta, Reb Moshe Cohen, z'l, and I, Joy, both shared Parshah BaHa'alotecha as our birth parshahs.
 Marcel taught me to chant Parshat BaHa'alotecha while he was literally on a gurney heading for yet another cancer surgery. I had a Chumash with me.

BaHa'alotecha lobby wall plaque was designed as:
IMO Marcel Krauthammer, M.D.   Love, Joy & Aviva K.



Temporary holding spaces not yet properly designed:


Detail 3 lines from bottom. Incomplete Dedication.

IMO Marcel Krauthammer
and IHO our friends
Sefer Torah High Holiday Rosh HaShanah Parsha dedication
at Shomrei Torah Synagogue
included our Krauthammer family.
At times I try to davven at STS and be in the presence of the Torah.

~
IMO Marcel, his yahrzeit annually is also remembered at Hadassah Hospital, Jerusalem,
and by family and friends.


Garden In Memory of Marcel Krauthammer
Garden of Joy, Barlow Respiratory Hospital
Irises planted by Joy Krauthammer & AriellaShira Lewis
~


Matzeivah / gravestone IMO Marcel

I designed this stone with devoted love and great care to honor my husband, Marcel.
Marcel had helped me design this five years before his death, and I added to the design after.
The Krauthammer family name for the two of us is also on a "pillow block" stone.  - Joy


Marcel's matzeivah
Enjoy the lovely single pinstripe around words. 
See smaller Hebrew lettering to differentiate generic acronyms. 
The Tilda ~ wave, represents LIFE between birth and death. Life is not a straight journey.
Rabbi Yitzchak Adlerstein always said Marcel had Emuna and Bitachon / Faith and Trust.
I added Marcel's mother's name in Hebrew and English after approval from Thea. - Joy




Marcel's Matzeivah Unveiling
It took me a long time to decide that it is OK to include Marcel's Matzeivah Unveiling photos on this site.
I have no funeral photos from the 'standing room only' crowd,
 but along with Aviva and my sister Faye and I, my mostly local loyal invited North Valley close community was present for unveiling. 
Marcel's closest loyal friends, Brian & wife Karen, Shelly, Dr. Michael L. and Dr. Paul Rosenthal and wife, were present. YION minyan was present, those who said Kaddish with me, Rabbi, Avrum, and Lou Harris. Officiating Rabbi Sheldon Kirsch is not in photo, nor nephew Danny. Cousin Cantor Michael Russ is with wife Merle. Our dear friends present: Barbara, AriellaShira, Sandi and son Mat. - Joy
~

"There's No Place Like Home"
Marcel loved having our house sukkah that he built each year.
Montage by © Joy Krauthammer




Marcel's Shiva Memorials
Tables at the Klaristenfelds during Shiva filled with items important to Marcel and his family.
On far left is his Montreal HS graduation photo.
On right are many UCLA teaching awards bestowed upon Marcel.
In the middle is Marcel's tallit bag. He is buried, wrapped in his tallit with cut Tsitsit.



Aviva holds up the last Happy Birthday giant card made for Marcel.
Card was destroyed in the house water pipes burst situation that ruined his study room at home, Jan. 2012.



Framed photos of Marcel and family. I gave some framed photos to his mother and Aviva.
If I still had them, I would scan and add here.  - Joy



More photo albums of Marcel that I made in his memory and gave to Aviva.
Here are more of Marcel's awards, and favorite hats.
Marcel was buried with his favorite baseball cap, and with Oatmeal, his mascot bear that went everywhere on final medical journey with Marcel, including Heaven.  - Joy

~


The Hero Within

Joy's Comments
Reprinted from Aish.com 

 March 1, 2006

The Hero Within, Dr. Melamed-Cohen's story by Sara Yoheved Rigler


Joy Krauthammer wrote: I have new understandings of life.
From Dr. Melamed-Cohen's story by Sara Yoheved Rigler, I have new understandings of life and empathy. 


My husband, Dr. Marcel Krauthammer, zt'l, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim v'Thea, died a month ago, January 17, 2006 after being in a similar situation to Dr. Melamed-Cohen. Marcel was on life-support with respirator, tracheostomy, feeding tube for the prior six months (NG tube only), paralyzed a few years, but with worsening metastatic brain cancer for almost 18 years. 


From this story I have a recognition and better understanding that my beloved also had his purpose in life, although possibly not knowing it, giving "encouragement and strength". 


Marcel was brave, courageous, defiant, powered by will, hope and faith (Emuna v'Bitachon) in Hashem. Family photos were always facing Marcel. Yes, there was a "rectification, a tikkun", in his and our lives. And Marcel also had his "reasons not to give up." Marcel, too, prayed throughout the day with his siddur until he could no longer hold the book, and then the prayers were in his heart, and he acknowledged to me with a slight nod. I would also pray out loud with Marcel, although he could not talk the last six months. 


Marcel never despaired, he NEVER GAVE UP –only his body. 


Marcel's dream was fulfilled three weeks before going on life-support; and he rode down the aisle to our daughter Aviva's chuppah to Brett. 


As a UCLA Professor of Medicine and ICU Director, Marcel continued to teach from the other side of the bed, all medical staff and visitors during the two dozen hospitalizations and surgeries that he endured. Marcel was awesome, the "Comeback King." 

I decided that Marcel was a 'Vessel of Love' because all that he could do in the final months was to receive all the love given to him from family, friends, colleagues, staff and strangers (my spiritual friends whom he had not known), and we knew it through his eyes. 


Marcel under earlier conditions, was a stand-up to lying-down comedian. In his ICU bed, he made me laugh when he was able to circle and point his index finger to his head and at me as if I was loco, when I was the ventriloquist for his stuffed bear, Oatmeal, always a mascot by his side from ICU to ICU to ICU, and now in Shamayin/Heaven. 


As the month of Adar enters, I send blessings of increased joy to Dr. Melamed-Cohen, and also to author, Sara Rigler, in whose home I had a Shabbat lunch about 15 years ago. From her I met my dearest friend from the Old City, Ruthie Fogelman.

Blessings of joy, shalom and love,
Joy Krauthammer
Northridge, California

~ ~ ~




Marcel's toast video at Wedding of Aviva & Brett
http://brettandaviva.com/images/MovieToast2.mov


Marcel photos mostly by his photographer wife, Joy
http://brettandaviva.com/marcel%20pics/BrettandAviva.com/Marcel%20Krauthammer%20.html


Obituary 
Dr. Marcel Krauthammer, UCLA/VA Pulmonologist, Critical Care Specialist and Gifted Teacher
http://newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/Obituary-Dr-Marcel-Krauthammer-6832.aspx?RelNum=6832

Garden of Joy, Barlow Hospital
Page 6, right side
http://www.barlow2000.org/newsletters/barlow_news_spr09.pdf

HOURS, Difficult story

.
Marcel drummed one time at Remo
photo by Joy Krauthammer ©
.

HOPE collage for Marcel



HOPE Square IMO Marcel  © Joy Krauthammer 


HOPE is in memory of my husband, Marcel Krauthammer, z'l.  Marcel had faith, trust & HOPE / emunah, bitachon & tikvah, never giving up, for the 18 years he suffered with metastatic brain cancer, paralysis and then life-support, until G*D, Giver of Life, reclaimed his shining soul on 17 Tevet.

We never gave up HOPE.

During Marcel's last years I slowly created HOPE collages from found HOPE words, and gave them to others, and continue to do so. 
HOPE is a collage of HOPE words cut out from newspapers and cards, while serving as Caregiver Angel Warrior for my husband, Marcel, of blessed memory.

HOPE collage is for my dear friends and family who hold HOPE, and in memory of loved ones, z'l who have held HOPE.
HOPE collage is in memory of the victims z'l of the Holocaust who did not give up HOPE.

HOPE is what we all need to continue to do our work in our world; to have peace/shalom, love, compassion, connection, healing, wholeness and harmony in Kabbalistic Four Worlds of spirit, mind, heart and body.

- Joy Krauthammer

HOPE quilt square is a photo transfer of my original HOPE colored paper art collage onto an 8”x8" white suede cloth, with added 2D hand embellishments of stickers, gold paint pen and colored markers.

HOPE collage is a quilt square in the Mount Sinai Shoah Quilt (on quilt's
far right).
The large finished quilt in memory of Shoah victims was dedicated on Yom HaShoah 2008 at Mt. Sinai Memorial Park, Simi Valley.


HOPE Square IMO Marcel  © Joy Krauthammer 
in Mount Sinai Shoah Quilt



.

Garden of Joy, Barlow Hospital


Garden of Joy, Barlow Hospital


Attached is this letter within underlined link which just came from Barlow Respiratory Hospital along with four garden photos, and extra one of me, and my friend, AriellaShira Lewis (married to Michael L), planting bulbs in the earth creating in a few spaces, a garden of joy. I am so pleased to just receive this during the season of Marcel's 2nd yahrzeit. 

I feel that my tears can water the garden. In synagogue both tonight and tomorrow, I am holding a special memorial for Marcel.

We remember our loved ones  ...and we plant for our children...
And just in time for Tu B'Shvat, Jewish planting holiday.
BlesSings of health and joy,
Joy

click on :
This formal botanical plaque, standing in the garden filled with hundreds of purple bearded irises (which Joy and her friend AriellaShira planted) at the main front door of Barlow Respiratory Hospital, where Marcel z'l led doctor meetings when he was president of the LA Lung Association, doctor's society, and where patients sit outside, reads:

TO THE STAFF OF
BARLOW RESPIRATORY HOSPITAL
PURPLE BEARDED IRIS
DONATED BY JOY KRAUTHAMMER
IN JOYOUS MEMORY OF HER HUSBAND
MARCEL KRAUTHAMMER
October 2007


Garden of Joy

Dr. Marcel Krauthammer, a pulmonologist and a renowned professor of medicine at UCLA, passed away in January, 2006. His wife, Joy, planted lovely purple bearded irises at the Barlow main hospital in his memory. The bulbs became a wonderful improvement to the hospital grounds, and have since multiplied, and return year after year in spectacular bloom. The Garden of Joy, as it’s been affectionately named by the staff, blooms beautifully, even in the cold of winter. It brings smiles to the staff and warms the heart and brings hope to our patients and their families.


photo collage by Joy Krauthammer

Garden of Joy, Barlow Hospital, 2000 Stadium Way, Los Angeles, CA 90026-2696,
www.barlow2000.org   213 250-4200 X 3331

Page 6, right side
http://www.barlow2000.org/newsletters/barlow_news_spr09.pdf



~ ~ ~

DEDICATION from Aviva

Marcel's First Yahrzeit, 
with love from Aviva, January 2007


My Dear friends and family,

This coming Sunday, 1/7/07, which corresponds to the Hebrew date of 17th of Tevet, will mark the first Yahrzeit of my beloved dad, Marcel Krauthammer zt"l. I think about him every single day, but on this anniversary, you can join me in remembering a multifaceted man who achieved great things in his life, and positively affected the lives of so many people.

We have compiled a few photos and videos from my dad's life that we wanted to share with you. At the bottom of this page is a web link, which will bring you to a website with a photo album as well as two short videos (a wedding speech and comedy routine) of my dad.
 The photo slideshow highlights many of dad's loves and talents:

Family: Loving Husband, Father, Father-in Law, Son and Brother

Friends: Entertaining, Honest, Loyal

Teacher: A respected and loved medical professor who challenged and embraced his students (*below are stories from a couple of his students I wanted to share).

Coach: Taught me everything I know (and coached CSUN golf students)

Jewish Learner: Studied Torah and Talmud weekly, chanted Torah for 2 synagogues. (And not only was it technically impeccable, but he embellished each word with subtle undulations that transformed the phrases into elegant and enjoyable music.)

Scrabble player (the scrabble dictionary was in tatters from his memorizing allthe 3-letter words + all the words you can make with "Q" w/out using "U").

Poker player: Texas Hold 'em and High low where his games….

Golfer: studied every aspect of the game, and in his last year in the VA league, won the league championship.

Stand-up Comedian: started out on a cruise ship talent show…and never stopped

Through his life, my Dad tried to do his best at anything he tried.  This was not an ego thing, it was a personal motivation and will that was unmatched. This drive was manifested in all areas of life…professional and personal. He never pushed anyone like he pushed himself.  He would feed his brain, his curiosity and his knowledge with a voracious appetite. My dad pursued so many interests in his life that it's hard to really capture them all. Above all, my dad was a modest guy; self-deprecating and always willing to learn from his failures and from others.
I hold these lessons close to my heart.

Love, Aviva

LINK TO PHOTOS AND VIDEOS:
www.brettandaviva.com (click on MARCEL KRAUTHAMMER ZT"L)


                             Marcel's 10th Yahrzeit

On Marcel's 10th Yahrzeit, Aviva arranged a memorial with friends and family
held at Temple Ramat Zion with Rabbi Ahud Sela officiating for prayers 
and Aviva leading reception. 

Marcel's 10th Yahrzeit Memorial
© Faye Melton


Marcel's 10th Yahrzeit Memorial
© Faye Melton




Marcel's 9th Yahrzeit

Marcel's, z"l, 9th Yahrzeit


24 hours later
© Joy Krauthammer 


Today I posted photos on FaceBook of Marcel with his friends and rabbi. Aviva, too, had posted a loving photo.

At Chabad of Northridge to say Kaddish, a friend Michael, who recently lost his wife, gave me a photo that I had given to him a couple dozen years ago. There was Marcel with his beloved Rabbi Menachem Bryski, founding rabbi of Northridge Chabad, and also with congregant, Michael G. I had taken the photo at Young Israel of Northridge, so there must have been a simcha that day for Chabad members to be at YION. Some of us are involved at both orthodox shuls, and others.

After saying kaddish (always on weekdays the only woman on my side), I donated tzadakah for the rabbi to plant pretty flowers at shul in lieu of the calla tubers which are not in bloom in the winter. Mine were blooming only a few weeks ago. The shuls' callas are orange and mine are yellow with red. Rabbi said I could have some tubers.

Friends were in shul at 7am, and greeted me from the other side of the mechitzah. Larry Block always says good words about Marcel. Today he didn't tell the 'Marcel story' about "judgement" that he shares every year. Maybe next year...  Each yarhzeit and yiskor I go the the memorial board at shul, and I give a kiss to Marcel's plague that I had created for him. I don't think we had discussed it ahead of time, as we did the grave monument.

After shul, at home, I called my mother-in-law. We each acknowledged the day by saying we were in shul. Aviva had gone with Thea last evening.  A couple weeks ago, Aviva and family, and friend, Brian, went to the grave, and we left stones. The candle is now almost flickered out. I talked to Marcel, and to G*d.

With memories, Joy


Marcel's 8th Yahrzeit

Dec. 20, 2013,  17 Tevet 5774

Secular Yahrzeit is Jan. 17th, but very early this year, by winter's solstice.

Marcel's, z'l, 8th yahrzeit today

by Joy Krauthammer ©


Spoke to mother-in-law, and children, sharing love.  Went to one of shuls, Chabad, where Marcel served as Ba'al Koreh, Torah chanter. Touched his shul lit memorial plaque, (accessible also from women's section).  Appreciative of memories shared in shul by friend Larry Block; annual ritual that warms my heart.  Shared Dirvrei Shulim, the book of Torah's from Marcel's saved 10 years of letters by his father from when he studied with Rav Yosef Soloveichik.  Gave tzedakah.  More mitzvot in Marcel's name.  Made photo memorial collage for Aviva and sent it (and include here).  Thanked cousin Bruce Mossman for saying Kaddish at his Chabad, as my family did last night on East coast. Studied Torah. Viewed left over golf ball still sitting under rose bush in my garden since at least a decade ago from before Marcel was paralyzed.  (Every morning I stand next to that little white golf ball at edge of my property, as it lies where I shoot the sunrise.)

I'm grateful our friend Brian Reff went to cemetery with me, as he does every year, and cleaned flat granite gravestone, rubbing off salt remains from water. Since marker is flat, it is ruined by the elements. We left stones. I feel the years.

Flickering memorial candle was color of sunrise. Made more memorial art, and share this with you below.

BlesSings, JOY



'Out of focus' memories come more into view with yahrzeit candle lit against the rising sun.

(A few photographic 'Bokeh balls'.)


COLLAGE

I shot the flickering candle in the cold wind with 6am sunrise in background, watched flame blow out, and lighted again, and again, and then photographed from inside for stillness.
In shul, I shot Marcel's lit memorial plaque. 
In a shul's parking lot, Temple Ramat Zion, also where Marcel had served as Ba'al Koreh, I saw this personalized vanity auto license plate, and photographed ABA / Dad ♥ YOU.  
Aha, perfect for today.  Made the collage and sent to Aviva!

Friend Brian and I drove to Mt. Sinai for our annual ritual together.

One month ago at Chanukah, I visited also with Aviva, Brett and Maya, which we do each time they come to LA.

Our friend Brian, caringly cleans Marcel's Matzeivah at grave 118.

~ ~ ~

One last photo I shot today.


HUGS

During this year of Marcel's 8th yahrzeit, it would have been our 40th wedding anniversary


Today would have been my 40th wedding anniversary. We had a Chabad wedding. I bought my dream wedding gown in Tijuana for $25. Woven white cotton, fringed and sniut / modest. Made my veil, added Lilies of the Valley, and held three sweet white gardenias in purple ribbon. Made the boutonnieres for the honored men. My hubby, z"l, was a computer maven and I didn't need to know anything! So I'm spending the day today at Apple store. I've been learning...  - Joy

Something I never do is ascend, when the Lev Eisha women are called to the bima to celebrate their anniversaries with an aliyah to the Torah.  This year I did and announced that it would have been my 40th, an auspicioius time.  2014




Marcel's 7th Yahrzeit


17 Tevet 5773  2012 

Shalom, dear friends,

It's Shavua Tov time, motzei Shabbos, and I've lit the yahrzeit candle for Marcel's, z"l, 7th yahrzeit. Not quite middle of January, this 17th Tevet, but Dec 29 and cold and damp.

Maybe the magnificent double rainbows this week with seven colors each is in honor of the 7th yahrzeit.

Was really unconscious today about what I was doing as I stopped and gazed at length at the large hanging painted photo portrait of Marcel. I never do that, gaze. Then tonight, eating a sandwich, I unconsciously touched my upper lip while holding the sandwich and realized that that is what Marcel would do. Don't think I've done that before. Of course, the sandwich came from Subway an hour ago and for years that was Marcel's favorite eatery. 

Yesterday I scanned photos of Marcel with a baby kitty he rescued in NY. I'll put it in his web site. I'd tried doing it earlier in week but new scanner wouldn't work until his yahrzeit.

There is one of Marcel's white wiffle golf balls under a rose bush. It's there all these years, uncovered from top leaves. Wiffle balls weigh nothing. Why didn't ball get blown away? Others rear their little round heads throughout the garden. Every morning as I photograph the sunrise, I stand by the little white golf ball and acknowledge it. Maybe Marcel dropped it from on high, just for my pleasure.

At Chabad where Marcel served as Baal Koreh / Torah chanter for 18 years, I'll davven in the morning, which I do also for all Marcel's yiskors.
Marcel's Chabad friend, Larry, always shares the most meaningful and funny story about Marcel and Torah. Larry always makes sure that I have a minyan to say Kaddish along with me, as I am across the mechitzah. I share a huge book of Torah teachings from Marcel's father, z"l, that Marcel collected over the decades. On the memorial board, the little light is lit by Marcel's name. Rabbi Rivkin always shares special words about Marcel. He learned in hospitals that Marcel always asked about others, even when he himself was in critical condition.

I'll go to Mt. Sinai cemetery following shul and kiddush, even if rainy.
Interested in going with me?
Good loyal friends, especially Brian or Shelly, go with me each year, and we lay stones.

Aviva is possibly watching Marcel's favorite program tonight and drinking Cel-Ray, Marcel's favorite drink.
Aviva brought little Maya Sage Nechama Sivan to his grave site during Chanukah.
Thea said she is remembering. Family gets together in Maryland and goes to shul.

We remember you, and the true friendship you gave us all especially in the most trying tough times.
I still keep alive the two plants given to Marcel in 1988 by his pals. 
At Chanukah we sang Marcel's favorite holiday songs. On another note, Aviva says that Marcel liked "M-i-c-k-e-y M-o-u-s-e" so she sang it tonight.

Hope all is light-filled with you.

BlesSings for health, wholeness, peace, revealed miracles, creativity, discovery, wonder, blooming gardens, love and joy,
and for LIGHT to DISPEL the darkness.
JOY
"Serve G*d With Joy"

"Divrei Shulim"
Marcel's collection of father's Torah teachings.
For many years, Marcel saved the weekly hand-written Torah mail from Shulim, 
written in several languages, following classes with Rav Yosef Soloveichik.
The letters were transformed into book copies for family members.
For Shulim's annual yahrzeit, Marcel shared the Divrei Shulim at shul.
I, Joy, continue to do this on Marcel's yahrzeit, in his memory.


Dreidle




STILL VULNERABLE 
 March 12, 2012

- Joy Krauthammer


Looking for a small travel alarm clock, I decided to check my husband's, z'l, top dresser drawer where he kept all his miscellaneous items, i.e. coins, paper bills, pens, pen knife, business cards, beeper, keys, locks, name tag, buttons, giant paper clip, tape, screwdrivers, gum, golf things, strange toys, small metal balls, etc. (The Rebbe's dollar bill had been in the drawer in years past.) Those things remain there as I have not bothered with deleting them.  It was too hard seeing them six years ago. Clothes I gave away from all the neat stacks in the tall men's dresser that I had purchased in 1977; the finest well crafted lovely wood modern dresser. I really appreciated it's smooth styling.

Today I thought to myself, yes! -- I am proud of myself that I can rummage through his large top drawer six years later, through dozens of pens, makers, baby flashlights and personal small items, looking for what I want, and not get upset.  

Then it hit me--boom; I saw the little plastic red DREIDLE. Yup, it got my guard down, and there was the love, humanity and history in it all. Chanukah was important to us from the beginning, and this thumb sized symbol reminded me in a flash of the decades we had lighting chanukiyot and with our daughter, playing dreidle with pennies on the holiday. That little Jewish spinning toy has a lot of power.
And I thought I was finally through to the light at the end of 'the tunnel'.

photo © Joy Krauthammer
.

Hazon Essay Dedication to Marcel

Hazon essay dedication to Marcel, z'l, by Reb Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen.

http://www.shemayisrael.com/publicat/hazon/tzedaka/halachaethics.htm

This letter is a continuation of our discussion on how a proper understanding and fulfillment of the “halacha” – the detailed steps of the Torah path – enable us to serve as an ethical and universal role model. This letter has two inspiring stories, and it is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Marcel Krauthammer - Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim. Today, the 17th of Teves, is the first yahrtzeit – anniversary of his passing. In honor of his yahrtzeit, his daughter, Aviva, and her husband, Brett, sent out a letter of tribute which mentioned that this beloved and respected medical professor regularly studied Torah wisdom, including halacha and ethics. His wife, Joy Krauthammer, is an active participant in our e-mail Torah study program, Hazon – Our Universal Vision. May she and the family be blessed with comfort, strength, and good health, so that they may continue to do many “mitzvos” – the Divine mandates which connect us to the Compassionate One.  - Yosef

Condolences letters from friends, colleagues

MARCEL KRAUTHAMMER

Condolence letters from
Drs. Golub, Wasserman, Ziment, Rosen, Strumpf, Steuer, 
& friends Flait, DeLong, Rose, and more...

  

 Before my beloved husband Marcel died Jan. 17, 2006, in response to one of my last "Updates" on "Never giving up" and "Leadership", the following are letters that I received both from the man responsible for our sunny California life, Dr. Wasserman, and another from a man, Leo DeLong who as a new friend at Esalen, mentored Marcel in enjoying this Pacific Coast life on the "greens."

The 'first' is from Marcel's very first "Boss" in California and in Pulmonary, at UCLA/Harbor General Hospital, following Marcel's NY residency at Long Island Jewish Hospital. It is because of Dr. Karlman Wasserman that we don't shovel snow (since 1974) to get to work, and that we have wonderfully loving, supportive friends/colleagues (in addition to family) on the West Coast.

The most recent 2013 letter, is an entry posted at the end.

Blessings,
JOY KRAUTHAMMER
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From Dr. Karlman Wasserman, Chief, Harbor General Hospital

"Dear Joy, I agree that Marcel never shirked from doing the extraordinary things asked of him. One of those was his phenomenal chest x-ray collection (which was just given a new home at UCLA Radiology Dep't.) and the great skill that he developed in building the collection.

Marcel has remained optimistic, courageous and acted charitable, as I witnessed at a Palm Springs (Pulmonary doctor's) meeting 10-12 years ago, despite his having undergone brain surgery and his knowledge that his brain tumor limited him and would limit him further in the future, bringing him to his current state. Yes, he also demonstrated leadership at the (annual) Palm Springs meetings. But after he became ill, he showed us the stuff that he was made of. He did not behave as though he felt sorry for himself but appeared to live every minute. I remember Marcel's incredible smile and courage as we conversed at our last meeting, and that is how I want to remember him.

With love and blessings to you, Aviva and, especially Marcel."
Karl Wasserman
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

From Leo DeLong, whom I had the pleasure of meeting with Marcel in Palm Springs. I had discovered a golf workshop at Esalen and Marcel actually listened to me, registered and went to Big Sur where he loved meeting Leo.

"Joy:

Thank you for sending me this Update e-mail. Marcel is a fighter if not on the physical plane, on the spiritual. Though he can no longer speak, he speaks to each one of us through his courage and will to survive all these many years. You are so right about Marcel trying to be the best he could be at whatever he focused his attention on. He mastered the art of golf to the extent his physical capabilities allowed him to. Mentally was another story when it came to the game of golf. He knew all the subtle nuances of the game and the swing. When we talked about the mechanics of the game we were one spirit. We understood each other's thoughts on the subject after the first sentence. We were communicating non verbally from then on. Our spirits were in tune with one another.

He was a master joke teller as well. His timing was impeccable. I would put him on the stage against any of the top comedians. He was a multi talented individual. I'm glad that he came into my life. I am much richer for it.
Your friend,
Leo DeLong
 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

from Dr. Mike Golub
(Medical Dir. Sepulveda VA Medical Center.)

To the Krauthammer Family,

How beautiful were the words spoken by rabbis, friends and family in the hills of Mt. Sinai in honor of a wonderful person. Marcel was a teacher to us all. For those of us who study medicine, Marcel was the ultimate teacher. Not just the expertise that he brought to his specialty, pulmonary medicine, not just his skill in reading chest x-rays (how excellent that there is a wonderful home for his collection at UCLA's Radiology Dep't.), but more importantly what he taught us about caring and consideration.

And Marcel taught us the joy of finding your area of skill and honing it. He loved those things he could perfect, be it golf or teaching. I think back fondly upon the times we spent together, the house-staff softball game where I brought my son and Marcel brought Aviva and he pitched in his Sandy Koufax jersey. I am thankful I was able to quickly stop by on Monday morning to say good-bye. We will miss him dearly. All our best wishes from his colleagues at Sepulveda VA.
Mike Golub
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

from Darlene Rose

Dear Joy, Aviva, Brett, Thea and Charles,

Your holy, compassionate, brave, sweet and dedicated husband, father, son and brother is a Kiddush Hashem. He is like Avraham Avinu who was tested and grew into spiritual, intellectual and physical greatness on every level of his soul.
Despite all his suffering, Marcel knew the deepest love, friendship and honor . He is so precious to so many.
Darlene Rose
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dr. Irwin and Yda Ziment who have been loyal boss, colleague & devoted friends since 1974.

 Dearerst Joy,

You and your incredible spirit  have been in our minds every day during
the past tragic years of incredible sorrow that you have borne with such
strength and devotion, sharing the grim burden that has tortured Marcel
in such an unrelenting manner
. His suffering was your misery, but just
as he bore the unrelenting advances of a miserable disease with great
courage
 you were an exemplar of wonderfful resilience and marvellous
humour throughout the unimaginably painful journey that took Marcel to
the inevitable conclusion
. We know that these same qualities will ensure
that you will show your indomitable shining vibrancy and continue to
give your friends and Aviva with her marvellous new family a wonderful
future together. We mourn the present and cry over the past but we look
forward to a bright new future and enduring friendship.

 Love (from Myanmar) from your great friends,
Irwin and Yda Ziment
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Stuart  Flait

 Although  constantly imminent, Marcel's death came as a terrible blow to the community.
.  He  really was a wonderful man who never flaunted his obvious genius.  As you  described, he did enjoy giving it to the Interns  and Residents.  He  jokingly (?) told me to stay away from the V.A.  Hospital  in June when they let the  Residents loose right out of Medical School.  They could be very dangerous, he would say
 Sincerely, 
Stuart  Flait
~ ~ ~

Ira Jeffry Strumpf

I knew your brother, I worked with your  brother, I admired your brother, I learned from your brother. We fought disease together and separately in our own ways. I am in a line behind you, your  families  and many others who will miss him.

My  condolences,
Ira Jeffry Strumpf MD
(818)  366-2030
~ ~ ~

---
Marcel was my professor of medicine at UCLA when I was an intern.  When I reflect upon those sleep-starved hazy days of my internship there, I can think of no one else who taught me more or influenced me  more as a doctor than Marcel  Krauthammer.  He was a larger than life character who was adored by all of us.  He had a great sense of humor, humanity, and common sense, in addition to knowing everything there was to know about  every  specialty of medicine.

He was also a compassionate, kind person who was above chastising/humiliating us trainees (as so many academicians do), but rather, held himself out as a friend, as a colleague. In short, he defined the  word, "mensch."  Over the years, I had wanted to call him and tell him how important he was in my  development as a doctor and as an adult.  But I never did.  I'll never get that chance now, but this story should underscore the  importance of being  present,and doing those things we have always wanted to do,  but couldn't because of those distractors that are more urgent but less important than giving love back to those who have loved us.

Michael Steuer, Memphis Tenn.
~ ~ ~

Arthur H  Rosen
I interned with a Marcel  Krauthammer at Long Island Jewish Medical  Center in 1971-2. I remember him as very capable and affable. I hope that  your warm memories continue to give you solace.

Arthur  H. Rosen,  MD
~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~

Krauthammer, Marcel. Beloved son (Thea), husband (Joy), father (Aviva), father-in-law (Brett), brother (Charles, uncle Daniel, brother-in-law (Faye, Jim), (Arielle, Jim), (Robyn), friend and teacher. for over twenty years, professor of medicine at UCLA, brilliant pulmonologist, honored clinician and teacher, humanitarian, devoted baal koreh, community leader. Died January 17 in Los Angeles. Of cancer, which he fought for seventeen years with courage, defiance and indomitable spirit.
- Montreal Gazette. www. legacy.c
---
Dear community,
Thank you for your condolences on the passing over January 17, 2006 of Marcel, z"l, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim, my beloved husband of 31 years and loving father to our daughter, Aviva, and her husband, Brett Freedman.
Following a challenging metastatic brain cancer of 18 years, may Marcel rest in peace.  Marcel was a valiant fighter whose faith in Hashem, along with his willpower, strength, courage, fortitude, perseverance, patience and hope kept Marcel alive to reach our daughter's wedding, his greatest dream.
BlesSings,
joy
LA Times, obits.
---
My Dear Sister,

You asked me about the significance of Tuesday - Yom Shlishi. This was the day when plants came into existence, and there is a tradition that the Garden of Eden came into existence on this day.

The Garden of Eden is the goal of each soul's journey. A righteous soul enters the spiritual Garden of Eden after it leaves the body, and after the resurrection, all the righteous souls will then live in the Garden of Eden on this earth.

"For the Compassionate One will comfort Zion, He will comfort all her ruins; He will make her wilderness like Eden and her wasteland like the Garden of the Compassionate One; joy and gladness will be found there, thanksgiving and the sound of music." (Isaiah 51:3)

May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Yosef
Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen, Hazon
---
Dear Aviva,
I don't know if you read e-mail while you are in avelus, however, I read your mother's touching words and was very moved. I appreciate that your dad accomplished quite a bit in his life and he helped the world in many beautiful ways. I also was grateful with you that he was able to meet Bret and enjoy the simcha of your marriage in his lifetime. May you continue to provide simcha to your mother. I'm sure your father will continue to look down on both of you and smile at every accomplishment that you continue to make. May Hashem give
your entire family the strength to bond together at this time and may your father's soul have a smooth aliyah into Shamayim. May his memory remain a blessing for your entire family.
Sincerely,
Lauri Wolff and Nehemia Polen
(Aviva's supervisor, Lauri)
---
Dear Joy,

It is with sadness that I hear of your beloved husband's passing.  

May the soul of your beloved Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim soar on the wings of Shechinah to his resting place in Shamayim! And may you be privileged to receive many visitations from him, in dream, in thought, and in guidance.

May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
Kol brachot,
Reuven v'Yehudit
---
 Joy,
I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you, especially during this past month. Where most would crumble with the enormous challenges you’ve faced, you showed grace and thought of others, even continuing to teach at Marcel’s funeral. Don’t ever forgot how precious you are.
Now it’s time for Joy and time for Joy to take care of herself, park yourself in your recliner and sit. I’ll help you with all next week. I should be able to sit by then.
Take your drops, noni, order any meds that you need so I can make your med boxes, close your eyes and picture how your garden will look for our birthdays this June.
I made an announcement here that I need to go to services with you one Sat. morning a month. And we need to start Onioning again.
Crying is good for you, besides mourning the loss of your loved one you need to mourn the loss of your life the way it was. You’re a butterfly, now set free to help others.
Love, Sandi
---
Thank you Joy.  We appreciate your kindness especially during your own grieving times.  We love you and miss Marcel.

With Love,
Adina & Jerry
---
Dear Joy.         
  I've just re-read your message to me when Max (my step-father) died.  Being so beautiful, I never erased it.   my condolences from Pasadena.       I know this is a hard time, and I would like another opportunity to sit with you.     I know the seven days are crucial.  And I know that the following days and weeks can be harder, as we adjust.          MAY YOU ALWAYS CARRY THE SWEET MEMORIES OF YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.     MAY YOU BE FED BY THE BEAUTY OF YOUR CARE FOR MARCEL.  MAY HIS SOUL BE FOREVER NURTURED BY YOUR LOVE AND LIGHT. MAY YOU ALWAYS KNOW YOUR OWN BEAUTY.       I thank you for sharing your life with us.          Let me know if there is anything I can do.    Even if it is a visit for a chat, or to clean out a closet...........I am good at helping with this, even if I say so myself........           I am sending you thoughts of courage and strength for the following times.
  Love, Ronit.  626-844-8849
---
Dear Joy,
   I know it has been very difficult for you these past several months but you must know that you are so loved.
   May I sit shiva with you and your family today?
Love and Shalom,
Charles Sherman  
---
Thanks for sending us the beautiful article written about Marcel by Charles.  It tells a real story about an exceptional person.  It could have included the missing line about the one devoted person who was always there.
Best wishes,
Gail Wasserman
---
you were the angel
love hesh
---
Charlie, i have read your loving article in W. Post.

And i wonder, how did marcel get to hospital each of the two dozen times that he was there, most of them 911s to the ER when he was "delirious" or non-responsive and his life was spared, fooling the "angel of death"? as the eulogies’ stated at the funeral. Who was Marcel's caregiver and tireless advocate these last 18 years?
Caringly, Jack Zohar

Gee, I wonder who that could have been, and who insisted time and countless time again, that his care be administered correctly? It just happened, I suppose.  JZ
---
You have chosen a very rocky path lighted by flaming volcanoes underneath. How about going down a woodland trail now, in the spring with abundant, fragrant flowers on all sides, and filtered sunlight from on high, birds a twitter, soft breezes and delicates scents to delight the nose. It's time.
---
Joy, your active role was what made all of the difference and we all know that!
Thank you for sharing this.  I hope that we can see you soon. Let me know when you're ready to come for Shabbat.
Love,
Luisa 
---
Dearest Joy,
    Thank you so much for sharing this.  The entire story of Marcel's (and your) struggle deserves to be told... perhaps someday a talented writer will make a book or movie, to warn and inspire the rest of us.
Love,
Robin Winston
---
beautiful today, beautiful at the funeral...may it give you the strength, courage and comfort, in knowing all you did for your life partner, Joy.
shoshi Wilshfort
---
Dear Joy,

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and hope you are doing okay in this sad time in your life.  I have never attended a funeral like Marcel's and reading this piece by Charles brings back how touched I was by all who spoke.  I didn't know Marcel in Life but after the funeral, I really felt like I knew his essence and was sorry that I didn't know Marcel in Life. I know I would have loved him!

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

Love,
Lee Fischer

Unfortunately, I've been to too many funerals in the past 10 years (especially of people our age!)  I was so touched by the amount of people attending and from all areas of Marcel's life (even Reb Zalman calling!) 
Also, the fact that we all followed on foot to the internment site.

Again, I'm sorry I didn't know Marcel all these years.  I know that he is at peace now.
  
Love to you,
Lee

---
To Joy, Thea, Charles, aviva and Brett,
My sincerest condolences on the loss of your dearest Marcel and my good friend.
Sheldon Rosenbaum
---
Valley Beth Shalom Library Minyan with Reb Moshe Cohen
TORAH STUDY at 8.30 to 9.30 am with moshe
= in memory of Dr MARCEL KRAUTHAMMER
---
You and Aviva have been in my thoughts often during the past 10 days.  I hope you are both doing well.  I thought I would pass along a cheerful message: the Iris are putting out many new, healthy green shoots and there are already two stalks of blooms on the old stalks.  They will be wonderful when they open up. I think of all of you every morning when I pass by them on my way in the front door. 
Blessings to you all.  Julie Cage-Lindsay, Barlow Hospital
---
b"h
We knew him better as Menachem Elimelech, one of the names on our prayer list the longest. May Hashem send Joy and her family comfort, among all the mourners of B'nai Israel.--
chana Besser, Tsfat, Bikur Cholim
b"h

Baruch Hashem that you, mourning so intensely now, can enjoy a sunrise. 
You're special.
I'm seldom up that early, so I enjoy the sunsets over Mt. Meron from my window.
love,
chana Besser
---
Oh, Joy. So sorry to hear about Marcel. I have been in Chicago for a few days and will not be able to stop by today. My thoughts and prayers are with you my dear.
B'shalom,
Fran Krimston
---
My beautiful Joy,

I am so moved by your words about Marcel, thank you
for sending them.  I am with you now in spirit and
hope that you can come to Ruach this summer so I can
see you in person.

I also want you to know that my father and mother and
grandfather are buried at Simi Valley Mt. Sinai and
that just last week I was there with my family for my
father's unveiling.  It was very moving and wonderful
and as always, I loved being in such a beautiful
setting, one that my dad so enjoyed.

Many blessing to you and your family,

dave nidorf
---
Joy,

You did all that you could – I doubt that I will get there tomorrow, but know that I am thinking about you and Marcel.

Mark Bookman UJ
---
Dear Joy,
May you be comforted among the mourners of Jerusalem.
I send you my love and blessing to you for peace and rest.
You are truly a shining light and a model of selfless service.
My thoughts are with you.
moshe-tov Kreps
---
Dear Joy: My heartfelt condolences to you,  Avivale and the rest of your family.  I cannot begin to tell you how much I admired your heroism during the last few years.  Your love, your kindness, your intelligence and your energy maintained Marcel through his most difficult days.  I wish you continued courage as friends and family help you to reorder your life without him.  
Fondly, Miriam.Rain
-
Thank you Joy.

I have read. What that poor man went through. Nobody should have to suffer like that, so I suppose it is better for him to have gone on to rest without pain, without all the discomfort and humiliation that his condition brought to him.

May he rest in peace.

When you are ready for it, Shoshi expressed that she would like you to visit us in Arizona. It can be head-clearing to have a change of scenery. It goes without saying that I also would like you to spend time with us.
We will talk. If it makes sense, we can plan.

Let us know what we can do for you, Joy. Maybe there are things…

All the best,

Jack
---
dearest joy,  
 i am thinking of you and the beautiful funeral that you had for your dear husband, marcel.   it was a privilege for eli and myself to be with you and aviva at the hospital the night before and can only hope we provided some comfort for you.   we came over to the rabbi's after but it was so crowded we didn't get to speak to either of you.   i especially wanted to hug aviva as i can feel the deep pain she is feeling at losing her father. this isn't meant to deny your deep pain but i felt she and i had a connection the night before.  i am leaving for a retreat tomorrow for a week and will be home on thursday night.   i was serious with aviva when i told her to call  me or come by if she ever wants to talk.   please pass that message to her.   of course, the same goes for you as well.   i feel so honored to have you as my mentor of how to take care of a husband.   you certainly did a wonderful job all these years.    and to know that you and marcel had a wonderful healing --- what more could you want except, of course, for him to have regained his health and have lived.    but you are the model of a truly devoted and caring wife!!!   you can really feel that you did everything possible and have no guilt at all.   please contact me if you just feel like being with someone who will listen and hold your feelings with great delicacy.

with love and blessings to you and aviva at this time of your sorrow.  shayna
---
JOY, 
karen and i were in las vegas and sorry we missed the funeral.......i heard it was a huge turnout...... 
wishing you and your family our deepest heartfelt sympathy......i have many great memories of a wonderful man to cherish..... 


love and a hug, ian (Kroop) and karen
---
Dear Joy,
...I will be in touch
later. I hope that you are surrounded with love and support as you move
through the next days, weeks and months of returning to some semblance of
normalcy. A new life.        
Hugs and love, Marty Cohn Spiegel
---
I hope you and some of your family will make it to B'nai Horin tomorrow. Stan is dedicating the service to Marcel and you.
You are a brave strong woman Joy!
Be strong and I pray for healing energy for you.
Lots of love.
Gayle Gale
---
Joy,

Sande, Ross, Dean and I extend our deepest condolences on you and your family's loss. I just learned of Marcel's passing by email by Paul Selecky. I, unfortunately, am travelling and will not be back until late Saturday night. However, I have given the information to Sande and she will make every effort to attend the service tomorrow. 
Once again our condolences on this very sad day.
Yours,
Michael Littner, UCLA Sepulveda VA
---
Joy
Please accept my sympathies to you and your family on the passing of Marcel.  He certainly put up a valiant struggle and your devotion was more than admirable.

I am sorry that I am not arround during these days for you.   I am taking out time tomorrow to go to the shabbat service.  You, Marcel and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Hope to see you in February when my load is lessened.

Much love, Sharon Croskery
---
Dear Joy, 
Woke with this song in my mind this am. I send it on to you. Try singing it and see what you feel. 
Love, 
Paulette Rochelle-Levy
Somewhere 
There's a place for us 
Somewhere a place for us
 Peace and quiet and open air
 Wait for us
 Somewhere
 There's a time for us 
Some day a time for us 
Time together, With time to spare
Time to look
 Time to care
 Someday 
 Somewhere We'll find anew way of living
 We'll find a way of forgiving 
Somewhere
 There's a place for us
 A time and place for us 
Hold my hand 
And we're halfway there
 Hold my hand
 And I'll take you there
 Somehow,  Someday, Somewhere. 

 Westside Story                      Leonard Bernstein
---
.and dearest Anne, please know that I continue to send healing love and prayers to you. THANK YOU, MY DEAR. THAT IS VERY GENEROUS OF YOU AT THIS TIME. 
How are you?
I AM PREPARING FOR CHEMOTHERAPY.  
---
While i am writing, I just went to shelf to take down your "Mourning" book and I think give it to my daughter. Ah, the sweetest foto of us in the front page, from a Kallah years ago. 

XXXXXXX  I HOPE IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE USEFUL

funny, but for me, I don't want to get into a formal mourning stage because I have been mourning too long.

I THINK YOU CAN TRUST THAT, JOY. YOU HAVE STRUGGLED WITH THE ANGEL OF DEATH FOR SO LONG.

I am not in grief.  I just cry a lot and that is fine. Wake each morning crying. That too shall pass.  YES IT WILL PASS AND THE ACT OF CRYING WILL HELP IT PASS. TEARS ARE TO BE TRUSTED. THEY ARE FREINDS.

I am grateful that Marcel is finally free of his physical burdens and torment.  YES. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. IT HAS BEEN SUCH A LONG AND DIFFICULT JOURNEY FOR HIM TO FINALLY GET TO THIS FREEDOM. AND YOUR JOURNEY HAS ALSO BEEN LONG AND DIFFICULT.
Me?...  I look forward to returning to community   TO ITS EMBRACE AND ITS DELIGHTS.
One love, shalom and abundant blessings of health and joy to you,
Joy
"Serve G*d With Joy"

MUCH LOVE, ANNE
----
continuing to send you love. I wish I had the energy to come to you. sending you and Aviva blessings. Love, Anne Brener
---
Hello Joy, Please accept my condolences. Your husband is now free of suffering.
Love&Light, Reginah
----
Dear Sweet Joy,
   While Marcel is in my thoughts and my prayers, I will unfortunately be unable to visit during Shiva. I am travelling for the next couple of weeks (in fact I  had to leave the funeral service a bit early.)
   Marcel's funeral service was quite moving and beautiful and certainly well attended--a tribute to both you and Marcel.
   Now that Marcel's suffering has finally ended, I hope you too will be able to find peace in your heart.
With sympathy and warm wishes to you and your family,
Bobbi Leigh Zito
---
Dear Joy,

I was saddened to receive the email of Marcel’s passing.  I honor your deep spiritual beingness and know that wherever you are – God is. 

Blessings,
I look forward to giving you a BIG HUG upon our next blessed meeting.

Christine

---
Joy,

I am so glad I was able to attend the services for Marcel; it was so moving and inspring. And to hear my teacher Rabbi Adlerstein speak so eloquently, and Marcel’s brother of his special childhood memories, and the others.  Then to see you later and hear about your treasured relationship. I learned so much about your beloved.

I will probably not be able to come to further shiva but you are so deeply in my heart.  Blessings to you and your family.

Helene Silber
---
Dear Joy,
This is what your cousin Benjamin posted on his webzine.
All the best,
Jack Zohar

PREVIOUSLY REQUESTED PRAYERS NO LONGER NEEDED

Dearest readers:
Thanks to all who prayed on behalf of Menachem Elimelech ben (son of) Tova Matil, who passed away on Jan. 17th.
Jews change to the father's Hebrew name for prayers and doing acts in the merit of the soul after death. Those who wish to help the soul of Menachem Elimelech ben (son of) Shulim are encouraged to continuing to act on his behalf.
Hamakom y'nachem eschem b'soch sh'ar avelei Tziyon v'Yerushalayim.
May we know no more sorrow!
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky,
Editor in Chief

---
B”H

Dearest Aviva, Brett, Mrs. Krauthammer and the entire family,

            Our hearts and thoughts are with you at this difficult time. We only we wish we could be with you in person.  We feel so honored that we had the chance to meet you father, albeit very briefly, on that beautiful day in June and only wish we had the opportunity to know him more.  Your touching description of him provides a glimpse of this very impressive person.

            We wanted to share something that we found particularly meaningful.  When Ariel Sharon lost his son in a tragic accident, the Rebbe sent a letter of condolence.  In that letter, the Rebbe explained the traditional words of comfort, "Hamakom Yinachem Eschem Bsoch Shaar Avelei Tzion Vyerushalayim.”  The Rebbe wrote that the mention of  Mourners of Zion upon comforting someone for a personal loss tells us to draw a parallel between the two.  The loss of even one person is a communal sorrow just as the destruction of Zion . In addition, just as Jerusalem and Zion were only lost in the physical sense yet its soul remains alive within the heart of every Jew so too does the soul of the departed continue to live. And last, just as the loss of Jerusalem and Zion is temporary, so too will G-d restore us those we have lost with the coming of Moshiach.

May Hashem comfort you among all other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

With you,

Rabbi Tzvi and Chanie Backman and family
Tufts Jewish Student Center, Chabad
---
from Michael Rosenberg  of Torah.org
This Week's Misheberach List Parshas Shemos 5766
Baruch Dayan HaEmes: Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim A”H

We have had the zchus of praying for Marcel Krauthammer, Menachem Elimelech ben Tova Matil, for the past several years.  From time to time I have received gracious and thoughtful e-mails from his wife Joy.  Joy’s name describes the special way she has always accepted G-d’s decrees and appreciated the love and support of those around her. Although I never had the privilege to meet either of these special people, I have come to feel very close to them and especially to the long and hard battle Menachem Elimelech waged for so long.

This past week Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim A”H returned his pure soul to G-d.
T’hei Nishmoso Tzrura B’Tzror Ha’Chaim.
May his Neshomo be bound up together with the souls of the living and may HaShem comfort Joy and the Krauthammer Family among all those who mourn in Tzion and Yerushalayim.  May He wipe the tears from their faces and the faces of all those who grieve in the Jewish Nation.
--------
Dear Joy,
I have such mixed emotions about what I want to say to you, but both Richard and I extend our condolences to you and the family. I may not have known Marcel, but I know his spirit and zest for life. Someone like that never leaves us.
May you be consoled by the many years of happy memories and all that he accomplished. You are such a special person and your strength and the love of those who love both of you will see you through this difficult time. With friends like the Klaristenfelds and the Kirsches no one can stay down for long. I’m sorry we were not in Los Angeles to be with you this week.

We’ll be down for two weeks Feb.12-25th when I’m having a hip replacement at Centinela Hospital near LAX. I asked Barbara and Kenny to hook up with Sheldon and Joyce and come out for a visit to Westwood where my son, Scott, lives. Maybe you can come with them if you’re up to it. My baby grandson will put a smile on your face. That’s a guarantee!

My thoughts are with you,
Love,

Charna Ravich
---
Dearest Joy,

    This is Nancy Horowitz Perren.  I'm so sorry to hear of Marcel's passing.  My friend, Myrna Gale, remembered to tell me today, Thursday, and I also received an e-mail this evening from Carol Maller from Temple Ramat Zion.  Had I received this information earlier, I most surely would have attended the funeral, and would have attended minyon this evening.

    May God help you find peace and consolation among the mourners of Jerusalem.  My heart is heavy knowing the sorrow you all have suffered.  I have such fond memories of the years Marcel and Steve built the sukkah together every year, when the girls were young.

    I will do my best to get to minyan next week.
Love Nancy
---
Hi  Joy,

         I'm so glad we were able to come yesterday.  This is one of the blessings of being 'semi-retired'.    Karl was anxious to be there with you.   The time from training to now has whisked by too fast for all of us.    Aviva was just a little gal when I saw her last and she became a beautiful woman.     I spoke briefly in French with Thea, but I don't think she remembered me from 1975 when she and Marcel's Dad took us to a play by Jean Barbeau in Montreal.    She seemed a bit 'shell-shocked' from it all, and for understandable reasons, of course.   Charlie gave a beautiful speech about Marcel's childhood, which of course I never heard before.  I didn't have a chance to tell him that his critique of Spielberg's movie 'Munich' is right on the money, as far as I'm concerned.   The Krauthammer brilliance shines thru best in person.  Unfortunately,   when Marcel and I talked about his childhood, it was at a time when his focus was more on the unpleasant aspects of growing up as a Jewish immigrant in Montreal, rather than the positive side of growing up.

         I didn't know before you are friends with Judy Sommerstein, a wonderful gal.   I was partnered with her husband, Adam, for 30 years & now we still see each other a bit at Harbor UCLA.

         I will see Irwin & Yda on February 2 in Carmel;   we talked a bit about Cambodia before they left.

         It was a pleasure to see Alan & Toby's beautiful curly haired daughters, as well;  maybe they take after your sister.

         I'm sorry we could not stay to sit shiva with you, but  being so far away and the short notice made this impossible.   Please know that our hearts are with you during this transitional time.   I'm also hoping for a rapid recovery from your recent knee surgery.


Lots of love, thoughts and blessings from us,

yo & Ginette Aelony, UCLA
On Jan 19, 2006, at 8:42 AM, JOY wrote:

Dearest Karl, Yo and Jerry,

It meant much to me that you were able to attend Marcel's zt'l funeral.
I am glad that you, Karl and Yo met Aviva, and Yo, I am glad that you met my
younger cousins, daughters of Alan (UCI) and Toby Cohen whom you met in
Vietnam.

I would be most appreciative if you were able to share with Irwin and Yda
anything about Marcel's gathering of love.
They are in Cambodia and are very sad not to have shared this with us all.
Yda and Irwin every single day have been supportive of us.

If you write anything and send it to me, I will forward it to them.
They came to see me the night before they left, always knowing for how many
times, that it could be the last time.

One love, shalom and abundant blessings of health and joy to you,
Joy
"Serve G*d With Joy"

---
 dear joy
i was so sorry to hear that marcel passed away. you have gone through a lot and deserve all the praise that a good wife deserves. he suffered so, i guess it's a blessing that it is finally over.
please accept my sincere condolences
love
bobbee  Zito
---
Dear Joy,

    My heart is with you at this time of grief, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    If there is something I can do to support you at this time, please let me know.

    Uzi
R. U. Weingarten
---
Dearest Joy
You and your incredible spirit  have been in our minds every day during the past tragic years of incredible sorrow that you have borne with such strength and devotion, sharing the grim burden that has tortured Marcel in such an unrelenting manner. His suffering was your misery, but just as he bore the unrelenting advances of a miserable disease with great courage you were an exemplar of wonderful resilience and marvelous humour throughout the unimaginably painful journey that took Marcel to the inevitable conclusion.

We know that these same qualities will ensure that you will show your indomitable shining vibrancy and continue to give your friends and Aviva with her marvelous new family a wonderful future together. We mourn the present and cry over the past but we look forward to a bright new future and enduring friendship.
 Love (from Myanmar) from your great friends,
Irwin and Yda
---
from Dr. Mike Golub    18-Jan-06 09:37 PM 
To the Krauthammer Family: How beautiful were the words spoken by rabbis, friends and family in the hills of Mt. Sinai in honor of a wonderful person. Marcel was a teacher to us all. For those of us who study medicine, Marcel was the ultimate teacher. Not just the expertise that he brought to his specialty, pulmonary medicine, not just his skill in reading chest x-rays (how wonderful that Geoff Applebaum found a wonderful home for his collection), but more importantly what he taught us about caring and consideration. And he taught us the joy of finding your area of skill and honing it. He loved those things he could perfect, be it golf or teaching. I think back fondly upon the times we spent together, the housestaff softball game where I brought my son and Marcel brought Aviva and he pitched in his Sandy Koufax jersy. I am thankful I was able to quickly stop by on Monday morning to say good-bye. We will miss him dearly. All our best wishes from his colleagues at Sepulveda VA.
---
Dear Joy,

I am so sorry that I was unable to join Karl and Yo in attending Marcel's funeral. I heard that it was a beautiful service.  We appreciate your keeping us posted all these months and most of all we enjoyed seeing the pictures on Marcel's website when he was smiling and celebrating at Aviva and Brett's wedding.  We share with you at this time of deep sorrow and will continue to remember him as a special friend.
Love to you and your family,
Gail Wasserman
---
Joy: I have a friend who will give Marcel's name to the Tibetan Monks and they will pray for him on his journey. Once this morning period is over and if you remember, I would like to dance Marcel's picture to the tree this year at our Oak Dance. Many people in the community have heard me pray for him. If you have a photo of Marcel and are willing to send it to me so that I can Dance him to the tree, I will make sure that I return it to you after the dance. If you are interested in the Dance I will send you some literature on it when it comes out in another month or so. The Dance this year will be held on June 2nd, 3rd and fourth of June in Occidental CA. It is about an hour and a half north of the San Franscico area.

If you are ever in the area please look me up or if you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask.

Your friend and Marcel's golfing confidant

Leo 
Leo De Long
---
Dear Rabbi Adlerstein.

When I looked at Marcel yesterday (at the funeral), I want you to know that his cute little chipmunk smile came back.
I have not seen it in six months.  It was without pain and agony. Marcel is now finally free.

Yes, you are right. He did love it (funeral). Marcel was all around us.
The service today was a real outpouring of love, affection, and admiration for Marcel.  I'm sure he was pleased with it. -Yitzchok


THANK YOU for sharing your love and memories with us.

One love, shalom and abundant blessings of health and joy to you,
Joy
"Serve G*d With Joy"

---
Joy:

Thank you for informing me of Marcel's passing. It was kind of expected that I would receive your e-mail. I was sitting at my desk at work Tuesday morning and had a clear feeling that Marcel had passed on. It was like a calmness and knowing came over me. It is hard to explain.

I did a pipe ceremony this morning praying for Marcel's journey and your family's courage and strength to endure and over come this tragic loss, coming through the other side healthier and happier. This is a very difficult time and my prayers are with you. Marcel will always be with us who knew him because we carry his memory in our hearts. He is finally free of the constraints of broken body. I'm sure he is laughing, telling jokes and playing golf.

Joy, condolences to you and Marcel's family. Peace be with you. Please keep in touch.

In harmony and balance

Leo DeLong
---
Dearest Joy,

I am so sorry for your loss.

And I am amazed and humbled by your lovely words and
prayers for your beloved Marcel.  

May you be comforted among all the mourners of Tzion
and Yerushalayim.

B'shalom,

Ellen Fleischmann
---
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for an easy transition for Marcel.
Looking forward to seeing you Saturday.

Hope enough people came today.
Sorry I could not come.

Warmly,
Peggi Sturm
---
The service today was a real outpouring of love, affection, and admiration for Marcel.  I'm sure he was pleased with it.

Did anyone send a obituary notice to the Jewish Journal?  I mentioned it to Amy Klein, whom I happened to speak to on the way back.  If you have something you can send it directly to her at amy@jewishjournal.com

thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak and emote.

Yitzchok Adlerstein  Torah.org
---
Dear Joy,
   Please receive my deepest sympathy... Having recently lost my Dad and my mom before him, I know a little bit of your process and send my prayers and love from that place.
May you receive all the strength, trust and grace of Goodness.
Blessings, Andy Gold (Rose Mountain)
---
My dear Joy,
I will come over to see you during Shiva.  My heart is with you this day.  
All my love,
Carol Kaufman
---
Dear Sweet Joy,

For the first time I paused at work to open my
personal email, not really knowing why.
and there were the words "Baruch Dayan haEmet"
and so my friend I send them back to you and yours.
May the next days find you support by all the
communities in the LA area that you have given so much
of your energy, may that sustain you.
I will call you on Sunday in the morning, I think that
might be the best time to reach you at home,
Elisabeth Rogalsky
---
Dear Joy,

I was so sad to learn of Marcel's passing.  He waged a very lengthy, valiant battle to stay here and be with his loved ones and the life he loved.  You especially, and Aviva gave so much of yourselves to guide Marcel through his struggle.  And Brett was an added blessing. You must know in your heart that you gave more of yourself than most.  May the admiration you felt for Marcel, and loving devotion you showed him as your husband and father of your daughter sustain you through this grieving period.  May he find peace and rest.

Although I won't be able to join you for services because I work in Los Angeles, I will come out to be with you at some point during the shiva period.  Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Ever since I read your very special email, I keep envisioning you in your beautiful clothing, tallit and amulets.  You're comforting everyone else as you create heavenly sounds with your bowls and rhythms with your drums to escort Marcel to his new home.  Tears flow.....yet healing is created and love blooms and blossoms.  As always, you have shared who you are and shared JOY!

Sending you and yours comfort and blessings.

I love you,
Allene Prince
---
Dearest Gila Rena Tzohara bat Leba bat Etel bat Perl bat Etel:

I send you, Aviva and Marcel's mother and brother my deepest condolences on the passing of your husband, Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim.  (I hope that the hug I am sending through Arlene Shapiro gets to you today.)  I am unable to attend the funeral and meal of consolation.  I wish that I could, but I would be worrying about the work I committed to.  I just returned home from my trip to Portland for my niece's bat mitsvah and I need to focus on my work today.  I will be able to sit shiva with you.  I am thinking either Friday, Saturday or Sunday evening.  Please let me know if you have a preference.

I hope that today goes well for you.  I know that you and Aviva will be surrounded by many people who care very much about you and Marcel.

with love, Gale Trachtenberg
---
DEAR JOY AND AVIVA,

OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES ON THE PASSING OF YOUR BELOVED MARCEL. HE WAS A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.

WITH LOVE
LINDA AND GARY ETTING
---
Hi Joy,

Thank you for sharing this tribute. I will share it with the SUM staff. All of our thoughts are with you and your family. You have been a courageous soul throughout it all, and I honor you for the consciousness and devotion that I know you exemplified in caring for your husband up to his graduation.

Love and Blessings from all at SUM.

Patrick Harbula, Spiritual Unity Movement
Hi All,

Below is a touching tribute from Joy Krauthammer to Marcel, Menachem Elimelech ben Shulim, who has been on our healing list for some time. Please continue to keep them both and Joy's family in your prayers.

Blessings,

Patrick
---
In Washington,DC ---
I send you my most heartfelt sympathy. Know that I am with you and sending you Blessings,
Alice Aspen March
---
Deepest heart-felt condolences to you, Joy, and your family on the passing of Marcel z”l. May his memory be a blessing and may you find strength and peace in your faith and loving community.
Your friend,
Rema Nadel, Metivta
---
Joy, I will continue to send you light and love throughout this time of mourning and when I'm on the plane I will send a special prayer into the heavens.  Hashem is everywhere but  I always feel a little closer when i'm flying in the clouds. 
 hugs, Miriam Stein
---
Peggi called me to tell me about your loss........please know that my best wishes, healing thoughts, are with you and yours.
I pray that he didn’t suffer too much and the passing was easy. I hope that you will find peace .
Love  Eva
 ----
So sorry for your loss, and thank you for showing your love and devotion to our God and your faith. I am so glad I was able to hold Marcels hands in mine and join Alicia and Batya in prayer and song for Marcel.
See you at the funeral,
shoshi
---
my heartfelt wishes go out to you.  Know that I will be there in spirit but cannot be with you in body since I will be in Palmdale working.  With lots of hugs I stand by you.
Bobbie Japka
---
Dear Joy, Aviva and Brett,

Hamakom y’nachem etchem b’toch sh’ar avelei Tziyon v’Yerushayim.

I have so many beautiful, warm, loving memories of Marcel.  He always made me feel proud to be a Jew, rabbi and human being.  The vision of his face on the day of your wedding will be a blessing for me until I die.

Marian, Rachel and Ari all join me in sending you our love.

Rabbi Steve Cohen  (CBBSB, UC Santa Barbara Hillel)
---
May Marcel rest in peace and you dear Joy be blessed with light, healing and the many blessings you so deserve.  I know you will continue to keep his memory alive.
So sorry i won't make it to the funeral or shiva as I'll be back east celebrating my great nephew becoming a Bar Mitzvah.. a blessing for me. 
Where can I make a donation in Marcel's memory.
luv and light,
Miriam
---

Dear Joy,

My deepest sympathies to you and to Aviva and Brett.  This is a sorrowful time.  Our thoughts are with you all.  I will join you after the funeral at the home of the Klaristenfelds.

Hope you can get some sleep tonight to help sustain you tomorrow and the days to come.

Love,
Carol 
---
O, Joy, to finally have closure and to be able to fully grieve.  You have been so brave and steadfast since I met you those years ago in Israel.  I so honor your journey and your love and selflessness. 
Hashem m’nahem otakh b’shaar avalei Yisrael,
Your friend,
                 SaraLeya….  (R. Schley)
---
Dear Joy,
    I am thinking of you.  Words seem meaningless in times like these.  I am so sorry for your loss.  My heart is with you and your family. 
 Neila
---
Joy;
Our condolences to you and your family.  May the the passing of your beloved Marcel bring peace and blessings to you and your children.  Our hearts and prayers are with you.
Warmest regards,
Carole, Ayo & Louis Adeyemi (Joy's Nigerian priest djembe drum teacher)
---
Joy:
I am so sorry to hear this news, but I know that Marcel is now finally at peace.  I will be out of town for the next week so cannot attend the funeral or Shiva, but I will be thinking of you.  And Marcel's wisdom, humor and teachings will forever be with me.

With special thoughts,
Michael Rotblatt  UCLA
---
Joy,

As much as I would like to honor Marcel, I will not be able to attend his funeral services on Wednesday.

I know that I am one of a very, very large number of people who whose lives were touched and enriched by Marcel.  He was never to busy to help a patient, to impatient to answer a question, or too distracted to provide assistance where requested.  His knowledge was encyclopedic; his compassion limitless.  He will be always remembered.

Matthew Goetz  UCLA.edu
---
WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES! WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES! WHAT BEAUTIFUL EYES!
It was about 4:30 PM when my friend Gayle and me went to the hospital to visit DR. Krauthammer, our Joy's husband. He was not in the room where we were told that he was supposed be.  Wrong info. We asked the reception were our friend would be. She said "go to there # 208 on your left hand side."  So we went to look for him, 2nd wrong info, no name no #. We asked again the 3rd time. We were led to him. He was in peace. Sleeping. Breathing deep.  I went to the left side of his bed, and touched, rubbed softly his left hand. Num., no motion, colorless. Few minutes later we started to sing, Shmah, peace to you, hevenu shalom aleichem, mei Jidishe Mome. He opened his eyes. Such beautiful eyes. They were shining, sparkling, smiling. I saw his mouth move a little, but not strong enough to say anything or smile. But HIS EYES. HIS EYES. HIS EYES. They were like a baby's eyes. What a happy feeling. After a moment I took his right hand did the same what I did with his left hand. There was a respond. They were week, but fine. They were better than his left hand. But his eyes were big and bright.  I could see the smiles in his eyes. I could hear the whispers from his eyes. I don't think that he had a dread black, schwarz, kushi man sang Hebrew, Judith and English songs holding his hand beside his bed.  He had eyes that any woman would make fall in love. He made my day. He made my weeks. As we sung these songs there was nothing, but joy filed the room. A big  and tall pretty black woman, a nurse, who was listening to the songs asked me,"What kind of songs are these?" I answered her, that they were Hebrew, songs, Jewish songs. She asked are you Jewish? I answered that we are all Jewish. She asked you have an accent where are you from? I said that I'm Ethiopian. She said "the original Jew, the original, I love the songs." She did some work on Joy's husband and left, with a big pretty smile.
I thought that Dr. Krauthammer has sexy eyes, like Kevin Kostner, Yul Briner.Or Richard Gere, but only when they all smile.
I would like to know Joy's opinion about this.
REDEMPTION SONG   BOB MARLEY
alula
---
Dear Joy,

Nadya is at Eilat Chayyim for the week and I just told her the news. I'm recovering from the flu and have no voice.
So, for the time being this e/mail will have to suffice. I will davennen that you find comfort in your grief and release. May you always remember l'tova what Marcel and to know that while many find haShem through the portals of  pain and suffering it is also a blessing to know that one can find haShem through JOY
God bless and comfort you.

Reb victor gross of Boulder
---
I am so saddened for all of you.  You have had such great courage.  Many of the staff have asked about Marcel.  He made such an impression on them.  He was a kind and loving man.   Please accept my condolences and that of my staff who cared for him for such a long time.   I say a prayer for you and Aviva  and Marcel's mother.. 
Candice Upham, Northridge Hospital
---
 Dear Joy,
My heart is filled with your sorrow. You are in my thoughts and preyers. Much
love and hugs and kisses are sent your way.
xoxo
Karen Golden
---
My condolences to you, Joy, on the passing of your husband.  
 With love and hope, Linda Yoffe
---
Dearest Joy and Aviva,
Your words of comfort from your deepest self shows and gives me peace for your own journey through this moments.
May your love to Hashem and from Hashem meet constantly and may Marcel´ soul ride on this bridge.
Much love, Perla
--
May Marcel rest in peace!  What a journey he has traveledl.
Love and light. Perla
---
Joy,
Please accept our condolences.  Much love to you...prayers and light for your grieving and healing.
Love & Light,
B'rachot,
Carol
 ---
B"H
Dear Joy,

So sorry about the loss of your beloved Marcel.  You are an awesome spiritual warrior. 

You & your family are in my heart and prayers.  

May you receive & experience the love and comfort surrounding you now and always.

Love,

T'mimah
---
Oh sweet beautiful Joy,  May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion. Give yourself some time to take a few deep breaths, go inside and connect with Hashem and receive all the love you have given reflected back to you. I am sorry for your loss. Love and blessings, Mindy Ribner
---
Oh, Honey,
How can I put into words my feelings?  I am so hurting for you and wish to send you peace and healing love.  My hugs are there as well, and I will light my candle tonight.
I am not sure of what my plans are for tomorrow, although I will try my best to be there.  It is also Dennis' yahrtzeit and I planned an event for his friends at 7:30 PM.  Hopefully I can get a ride with Marilyn which would get me home in time for my commitment.  Unfortunately, I am in charge of Dennis's event.
Still, I am sure things will work out as they are meant to.

I am with you now in spirit and will continue to pray for you.
I love you.
Rena Wander
---
Dear Joy, 
 I'll be there. I know you, Aviva and Thea will be surrounded by so many loving friends.
 Please be well, 
Paulette Rochelle-Levy
---
Baruch Dayan HaEmes.  Joy, I am very sorry for your loss.  May HaShem comfort you and all those who mourn among the
Jewish People.

Michael E. Rosenberg (Torah.org)
---
My Dearest Joy,

Words cannot express my sadness for you, Aviva and family in the loss of your beloved Marcel, may he have a lichten gan eden (a bright heaven).      My thoughts and love are with you at this very sad time.    May G-d give you strength and comfort you along with all the mourners of Zion.

I cannot get to the funeral for Marcel tomorrow, but I will come to see you.     Please know that my deep condolences go out to you and your loving family.

With love,
Shirley Lowy
---
Dear Joy:

Thank you for letting me know of Marcel's passing. He was a brave and courageous warrior for life, for light, for love. And you have stood by his side every step of the way.

May the Holy One send you consolation, and may the memory of Marcel's and your love fortify you for the days to come.

B'virkat Nechama,

Brad Artson  UJ
---
Ha-Makom Yinachem Eschem B'soch Shaar Aveilei Tzion Verushalayim. And may we never again see sorrows, but only everlasting simcha in the final geula when all tears will be erased and all of us will be reunited, sooner than we can imagine.

--Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
---
Dear Joy,

All of our love and condolences to you and your family, with fond memories of Marcel.

Marlene, Neal, Marissa and Brianna Brostoff
---
Dear Joy,

All of our love and condolences to you and your family, with fond memories of Marcel.

Marlene, Neal, Marissa and Brianna Brostoff
----
Joy & Aviva;

It is with such great sorrow that I write to you.  I was so deeply saddened with the news of Marcel's passing

I pray that as time passes and you begin to heal, his memory will be a blessing.

I am leaving for Australia this evening and will not see you tomorrow.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Please know that ANYTHING we can do for you is just a call away.

With love and saddness

Lynn Mayer
---
... Words of wisdom to remember im times that are difficult. the words of David Helfot. "Life is a journey, a journey a day, every memoent is precious." May Marcel's spirit live on within us?
Tears of love, Gayle XOXOXOXOXO
---
i just read your e mail and sent you few seconds ago my other one because i openend it first being important. joy darling  we are crying both of us. yes we all knew the day was near and now it has arrived. marcels journey in life has been completed and we can remember him now healthy and full of life during the years we were together. soory about my typing we are leaving to the airport. sorry we are not together with you in this tragic moment. our deepest condolances to al the family. lots of love to you aviva and brett, y and i
(Yda and Irwin)
---
Shalom.
May the Holy One comfort you along with all the mourners in Zion, Jerusalem and this holy planet.
Itzchak Marmorstein
---
Dear Joy:

POW!  That really hurt.  I happened to be at the computer when your e-mail came through and just the subject line made me realize I lost a really good friend. I had a late start to the day and have to go to an industry meeting in a few minutes and consequently I had just said his tehillim (for the last time) about 20 minutes before receiving your e-mail.

Having played golf with Marcel and at the same time having him sit next to me and have the patience to explain the davening at my first "Frum" Yom Kippur, showed what a diversified and wonderful human being he was. 

I don't think that my old friend would mind me saying so, but he leined the Torah much better than he played golf.

I will cut this short because I know you have many arrangements to take care of.  Yes, Emertz Hashem I will be at the funeral and also at the meal of consolation.

May Hashem comfort you at this time!

Stuart (Flait)
---
Dear  Joy,
I am so sorry to receive this news and pray that the beautiful memories of your beloved Marcel and the loving support of your chevre (both near and worldwide) will console you at this time.
Brachot,
Susan Saxe  (AlephAJR)
---
I send you from my heart all blessings and prayers at this time.  So do all others here who knew you all and became so fond of you.
Julia Cage-Linsay @ Barolow2000.org
---
dearest joy and aviva,  you have our deepest sympathies.   we feel it was a
true mitvah for us to have been in the room with marcel last night to share
his last moments in time.   i am sure that eli's song in some way reach his
soul as a send off and help him in his transition.   we will be able to be
with you tomorrow.  you are both loved and in our prayers and thoughts.
aviva, if you need to talk please call me.   you also joy.  i am here for
you..  with love,  shayna and eli
---
Dear Joy,

Thanks you for sending me your recent e-mail.  I found it very moving.
May "The Place" give you comfort, along with all the mourners of Zion.

A friend and rabbi told me that "The Place" (HaMakom, a name for the
divine presence) can also be thought of as the place where your memories
reside.

May that place/palace of memories of your husband, Marcel/Menachem
Elimelech, continue to be a source of comfort for you and for all of
your family, now and forever.

With all my love,

    Sherman/Zim (Betty's son?)
---
Baruch Dayan HaEmes.

I am very much going to miss Marcel.

Please let me know whether you want me to speak.

When I left, it just struck me how well suited you and Marcel were - this enthusiastic embrace of Hashem's presence.

You will please forgive me for making the following suggestion.  The single thing that Marcel needs now (and has needed for some time) is peace.

Peace is an attribute of G-d, since it is one of His Names.  It is resident within Him; we draw on it when we connect to that part (as it were) of Him.  In Torah thought, you can only connect with one of the midos of Hashem when you first actualize it to some extent within yourself.  I'm no rebbe-type, but to me it seems so suggestive that what you folks should be doing is adding a layer of shalom that doesn't exist.  Through it, you could hope for a greater beracha of peace for Marcel.

I mean, of course, the relationship with Marcel's mother.  The task should be a two-party affair, but I don't know whether that is feasible at her age.  I sort of suspect that decades of frictions could be overcome by one strong embrace and statement that whatever happened in the past, we are all going to be there for each other with love during this coming week. 

Maybe I'm naive.  I hope not.

BE"H, I will be there tomorrow.  (Rabbi Sauer is a Kohen, so I suspect that he won't.)

Yitzchok (Adlerstein)
---
Joy and Aviva
Words can never express the sorrow we feel for you at this most difficult time.Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Sadly, we will join with  you at the Meal of Consulation.Love to you. Merle and Michael
---
we are all so sorry! it is hard to be far away from you on this time! we love and hug you all!mira, tomer shelly and ori
---
May his memory be for a blessing,and may your soul heal and be renewed.  all my thoughts are with you, unfortunately I cannot attend the funeral but of course I will say Kaddish in his honor and memory
---
 Joy, our deepest sadness for your loss accompanies prayers of healing for you and your loving family.  May his soul now rest in peace.  Blessings of peace and love, Lynda and Rabbi Stan
---
Dear Joy, Aviva, and Barbara,
   The service was beautiful. I wanted to wish you a good day. So please take in a deep breath and enjoy the day                                                                      
            Love, Sharona
---
dear joy
i was so sorry to hear that marcel passed away. you have gone through a lot and deserve all the praise that a good wife deserves. he suffered so, i guess it's a blessing that it is finally over.
please accept my sincere condolences
love
bobbee
---
Dear Joy,
 I am so sorry that I was unable to join *Karl and Yo in attending Marcel's funeral. I heard that it was a beautiful service.  We appreciate your keeping us posted all these months and most of all we enjoyed seeing the pictures on Marcel's website when he was smiling and celebrating at Aviva and Brett's wedding.  We share with you at this time of deep sorrow and will continue to remember him as a special friend.
Love to you and your family,
Gail Wasserman
*Marcel's first boss. Harbor General Hospital
---
 Dear Joy,

    My heart is with you at this time of grief, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    If there is something I can do to support you at this time, please let me know.

    Uzi
R. U. Weingarten
---
Joy,

We just got back from vacation this past week and I finally picked up my e-mails.  I was so sorry to hear that your beloved Marcel passed.  My sincerest sympathy goes to you and your family in your loss.

Sandy Lynn
---
 --------------
The service today was a real outpouring of love, affection, and admiration for Marcel.  I'm sure he was pleased with it.

Did anyone send a obituary notice to the Jewish Journal?  I mentioned it to Amy Klein, whom I happened to speak to on the way back.  If you have something (it has to be much shorter than this, though) you can send it directly to her at amy@jewishjournal.com

thanks for giving me the opportunity to speak and emote.

Yitzchok
R. Y. Adlerstein
 ---
Dearerst Joy
You and your incredible spirit  have been in our minds every day during
the past tragic years of incredible sorrow that you have borne with such
strength and devotion, sharing the grim burden that has tortured Marcel
in such an unrelenting manner. His suffering was your misery, but just
as he bore the unrelenting advances of a miserable disease with great
courage you were an exemplar of wonderfful resilience and marvelous
humour throughout the unimaginably painful journey that took Marcel to
the inevitable conclusion.

We know that these same qualities will ensure
that you will show your indomitable shining vibrancy and continue to
give your friends and Aviva with her marvelous new family a wonderful
future together. We mourn the present and cry over the past but we look
forward to a bright new future and enduring friendship.
 Love (from Myanmar) from your great friends,
Irwin and Yda
---
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for an easy transition for Marcel.
Looking forward to seeing you Saturday.

Hope enough people came today.
Sorry I could not come.

Warmly,
Peggi
B'nai Horin
---
DEAR JOY AND AVIVA,

OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES ON THE PASSING OF YOUR BELOVED MARCEL. HE WAS A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.

WITH LOVE
LINDA AND GARY ETTING
---
GOOD JOB, JOY
 LOVE,
Paulette 
---
Dear Joy,
I extend my heart-felt condolences. You yourself have written everything I could possibly say (write) to you at this time.
So, without words, I give you a tremendous hug
love & blessings,
Ruthie
in Old City
---
Dear Auntie Joy!....

“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come." - Rabindranath Tagore

"Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never. Never was time it was not, end and beginnings are dreams." - Bhagavad Gita

Our love to you, Aviva & Brett... during this difficult time...

Abe, Ana, Valeska and Emilio

drumming friends  (in India)
---
 Dear Joy, Aviva, and Barbara,
   The service was beautiful. I wanted to wish you a good day. So please take in a deep breath and enjoy the day                                                                      
 Love, Sharona
---
 Dearest Joy,

I am so sorry for your loss.

And I am amazed and humbled by your lovely words and
prayers for your beloved Marcel.  

May you be comforted among all the mourners of Tzion
and Yerushalayim.

B'shalom, Ellen Fleischmann
---

During this week in 2013, of what would have been my 39th wedding anniversary, and shortly before Marcel's, z'l, 8th yahrzeit, I received the following thoughtful letter.
Subject: Dr. Krauthammer
Earlier this year I "googled" some of the Drs I used to work for at the Sepulveda VA in Calif.  One of them was Dr Krauthammer, but when I looked him up I was saddened to see he had died.  
I was a clerk typist at the VA when Dr K started there (I moved away in 1980) and just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed working for him.  We (the other secretary and I) met Joy and their daughter - wonderful family.  He was always very polite and would answer any of our dumb questions (we thought they were dumb) but never made us feel dumb or silly - that's why we felt so comfortable asking him about anything - he took the time to explain things to us - clerk typists!  There was a mutual respect between him and the residents and fellows he taught and worked with.  
Just wanted to tell you how much I thought of him and that he was a kind, respectful and humble person to have known.  
Linda Laing
~